#((but hopefully you won't be waiting on my ass a month))

[exhaslo]

Over-Time

CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader!

Warning: MINORS DNI, eventual smut, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing

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"Dear, (Y/N), you have been selected to join us for a group interview at Alchemax. Please arrive at appointed date and time below. Read and follow all instructions to ensure your interview. We can't wait to meet you."

Unable to fathom what you had just read, a loud gasp escaped your lips instead. All you really read was interview. Everything else blurred out since you were so excited to finally have a chance to leave your current job.

"Oh my gosh! Do I even have the proper clothes for an interview there?! I can't believe it!" You whispered, resisting a squeal.

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Alcehmax was one of the biggest companies in Nueva York. Everyone in their right mind wanted to get even a chance to work there. Hell, some people were happy just being a janitor there.

It was all anyone wanted to gloat about. Getting an interview was nearly impossible and yet, your clumsy ass managed to get it. You had prayed to every God you could think of. The questionnaire was a nightmare and where people failed the most.

"Okay, okay! I have to prepare...I have to practice..." You told yourself.

Interviews were hard for you. You were nervous around new people and freaked out when asked hard questions. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you just smiled. You got this far. You had an interview to take and succeed in.

---------

"Lyla, have we found anyone decent enough within the last two group interviews?" Miguel asked with a grumble.

Lyla, Miguel's private assistant, just laughed. She took off her designer glasses and placed them on Miguel's desk. Miguel was the CEO of Alchemax. One of the richest men in all of Nueva York, and a man with a quick temper.

"We have some potential candidates for the open slot in Marketing, but no one to replace me for when I go on my vacaaaation~" Lyla sang happily. Miguel felt his eye twitch,

"Yes, I know. You haven't stopped bragging about your damn vacation all week. Would have been nice if you mentioned it sooner-"

"Oh, don't give me that, Migs. I had it pop up on your calendar every week for the past three months reminding you! It isn't my fault you don't look."

"I am a busy man. You know that because you make my schedule," Miguel hissed lowly then pinched the bridge of his nose, "Just-Ugh, I just find me someone who won't try and suck my dick within the first week."

Lyla just snickered as she typed on her tablet, "You need to find someone. Maybe it will make you less of a grump." She mocked.

Miguel exhaled loudly, glaring towards his assistant. It was a good thing that Miguel could tolerate that woman. Lyla was a close friend of his and knew how to push his buttons.

Leaning back in his seat, Miguel closed his eyes as he took the moment to rest. Lyla was going to be gone for a few months. She sure knew how to utilize her vacation time. Hell, Lyla had a tough job dealing with him. She deserved it.

"I just need someone....quiet."

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How could a building give off such an intimidating presence? It was as if all those powerful inside were warding off the weak and frail. The start of a challenging, yet welcoming part of your life. If you managed to do good in the interview.

Inhaling deeply, you gripped onto your folder and finally had the courage to make your way inside. You heard the stories, but Alchemax sure was a force to be reckon with. The inside of the reception floor felt like another world.

You had arrived super early. You were scared of being late and well, knowing yourself, you were probably going to get lost. Hopefully, your clumsiness won't get in the way of your interview.

"Ah-"

Magic words. Just thinking of it alone caused you to goof up. You had accidently bumped into someone while admiring the inside of the building.

"I-I'm s-so sorry!" You stuttered, panicked that you were fucking up already, "I wasn't looking! I'm sorry!"

"It's alright. Are you okay?" The man spoke as you picked up your paperwork that fell.

Tears were starting to form as you thought of running away. Glancing up at the stranger you bumped into, you sniffed and tried to compose yourself. The man before you had bend down and helped with your paperwork.

"No need to be afraid, I won't bite." The man said with a warming smile. You gulped, finding him very attrative,

"I'm sorry again."

"Oh? An interview?"

"Ah, yes. I'm a little early, but since I've never been here I wanted to make sure...I wouldn't get lost," You admited as he handed your paperwork, "Thank you. My name is (Y/N)."

"Miguel,"

You stood up, staring at the towering man before you. That name sounded familiar, but you were so focused on your goof up to remember. Everyone was probably staring at you, laughing and knowing that you were probably going to flunk the interview now.

"Come, I'll take you to the floor you're going to be at. There are drinks in the lobby once you arrive. Help yourself."

"Ah, thank you."

You were just lucky to have bumped into someone as nice as Miguel. If it were anyone else, they would have probably made you feel worse than you already do now.

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Miguel stayed quiet as he led you to the elevator. He won't lie that it was slightly amusing to find someone who didn't immediately recognized him. That and quite refreshing. Miguel wondered what you would think if you found out that he was the CEO.

Glancing ever so slightly in your direction, Miguel couldn't help but smile. It was like you were in your own little world. You were fumbling with your fingers while you had a slight look of panic on your face. Honestly, that was how people should look for an interview.

Alchemax was not a place to enter with confidence.

"What position are you applying for?" Miguel asked, wanting to ease your nerves.

"Oh!" You gasped lowly, "Marketing."

"Hm. How good are you with planning and scheduling?" He asked casually. Your shoulders raised slightly,

"I, um, I like to...It's easier for me when I have everything in an itinerary. Makes for unnecessary distractions and delays. I find myself at ease with a schedule," You admitted with such a carefree smile.

"And organization?"

"If I'm not overwhelmed I'm great with organizing things." You chirped, "Oh, um, will I get a lot of people talking and asking me questions if I do get hired here? I...I'm just a little shy and if I get overwhelmed I do tend to be clumsy."

Miguel resisted a chuckle, finding you quite entertaining. After another second of silence, Miguel watched as you gasped and covered your face with your folder.

How cute.

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How embarrassing!

Just because he was a handsome face and kind to you, doesn't mean you could get comfortable! It took you hours to practice talking to yourself in the mirror to prepare for an interview and now you were blabbing away nonsense to a stranger!

Feeling the elevator come to a stop. You gasped lowly, admiring the lobby before you.

"Here is your stop." Miguel spoke.

"Thank you," You bowed your head slightly, still embarrassed from rambling off.

As you stepped off the elevator, you gulped. Nerves started to kick in as you took your first step to a better future.

"Oh, and (Y/N)," Miguel called out, causing you to turn, "Best of luck."

"T-Thank you!"

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Next Chapter

@timidquindim @decentsoupperson

[sosa2imagines]

Misunderstanding.

Warnings- None, mention of scar, angst, Steve being angry. -----------------------------------------------------

Your last mission took a toll on you. Getting stabbed nastily just below your tummy. Leading you to an urgent surgery and blood transfusion, cause of sever blood loss. Leaving you in the hospital for one month ten days.

Guess being a highly trained assassin, with good fighting skills does not guarantee 100% safe results. Only Tony, Nat and Bruce knew about your whereabouts. As for the rest? They just knew you had been seriously injured. Steve wanted to know about your whereabouts but for his own safety, no one told him anything, driving him crazy.

“So, all set to finally leave this place?” Rose one of the sweet nurse asks, her sweet nature made you, be friends with her. “Yes, finally out of your hair.” you chuckle. “I'll miss you Y/n” she hugs getting emotional and you hug her back with a smile. “I'll miss you too, now remember I'm just a phone call away.”

“I know!” she rolls her eyes playfully “So who's gonna pick you up?” “Hopefully Nat” as soon as those words left your mouth, AC/DC Highway to hell ringtone was blasting in the hallways. “On a second thought” “Tony” Rose answered and you gave her an apologetic smile.

“I heard my name” Tony's sarcastic voice roars in the room. “Tony you should keep your phone on silence” you explain to him. “Now when have I ever listened to anyone?” he smirks. “Umm Caps?” “Of course! you will take his name ‘boyfriend ass kisser’” “As if you won't ‘Pepper's loyal child’”

This is what you miss the most. Calling each other, with weird made up names. Tony smirks, hugging you in a tight brotherly embrace.

“I missed you kid, don't you dare do that again” “I missed you too Tons”.

Tony and you became best friends instantly, shortly after you both were introduced by Fury, after the battle of New York. You both have same kind of sense of humor, your being a bit sophisticated. You are one of the few females, Pepper trusts Tony with. And it was Tony, who made you join the Avengers.

As you both said bye to Rose and rest of the staff members, you were now on your way to Stark Towers in Tony's high-tech SUV.

“So, how's everyone?” “You mean all or Steve specifically?”

Hearing his name, a smile forms on your face. Steve Rogers aka Captain America your co-worker, best friend, lover, boyfriend. Unlike Tony and rest of the gang, Steve was professional in the very beginning, calling you mam.

It took you months for him to call you with your first name. Soon you became friends, bonding over music and art. Slowly Steve started to like you more than a friend, but at that time you were in a relationship with someone else.

But after the nasty breakup, Steve took proper care of you and you began to fall for him. It was only a matter of time; you both shared your feelings for each other. Making you both the prettiest couple.

“Umm all of them and yes Steve specifically...” “All are good and excited for you. Nat and Wanda have gone crazy, Steve and Metal man are out on a mission with our mutant friends, they'll be back later today.”

“You are the one in an Iron suit, yet still you call Bucky metal man?” “I can call him many names” Tony smirks. "Tony” you warn him. “Yeah yeah alright” he sighed.

“Wait you said Nat and Wanda have gone crazy?” “Yeah about that” “What did you do Tony?” “Why do you think I did something?” 

You just give him a death glare, he looks outside the window before finally caving in.

“Alright stop glaring it's scary, don't freak out I have planned a small party for you.” Tony is now smiling being hopeful, giving you the best puppy dog face. “Thank god you are cute Tons”  Tony acts shocked putting a hand on his heart “I'm hot, but I'll take cute” he winks at you, making you laugh.

As soon as you both enter the tower, inside the lounge everyone jumps to scream surprise. Hugging you gently, being extra cautious of your injury.

“Guys I missed you all too, but I'm not fragile, I can still kick asses. Nat you know me” “Guys she's right, come here sexy” Nat engulfs you in a big tight hug. It is special, you both are like sisters inseparable.

“Nat I missed you so much!!!” “How’s the wound?” “All healed left with a scar, just like you bye bye bikinis” “Oh to hell with them we'll own the bikini look with our scars”

You both laughed as Wanda, squeezed between you two, making it a cute group hug between the three.

“Y/N” Thor calls you loudly, pulling you away from everyone, hugging you in a bone breaking hold. “I love you too Thor!!” your voice was muffled being buried in his hold. As he lets go, your eyes begin to search for Steve. 

“Looking for someone?” Nat asks “I know whom she is looking for” Clint smiles. “Sir Captain Rogers and Barnes have arrived” FRIDAY'S voice was like a music to your ears. Everyone gather in front of you, to hide you from Steve. Thor was holding your hand to keep you steady. You just wanted to break loose and run into Steve's arms.

“Guys I want to see him”, “NO” all said in unison. “But why?” “Surprise” Nat said.

When Bucky and Steve entered the lounge, everyone shouted together “SURPRISE”. Steve and Bucky gave each other confuse look.

Everyone parted ways and Thor let’s goes of your hand. Steve was shocked to see you. He removed his mask still not able to believe, that you are standing in front of him. Bucky quickly hugs you, asking about your health “I'm fine Buck, we can spar together soon...”

Even though you were answering Bucky, you kept looking at Steve. Something felt odd. As you finally went to hug Steve, something felt off. Steve did hug you back, but didn't say anything. He just looked at you, touching your cheek, before leaving for your shared bedroom. Everyone tried to call him back, but you knew he won't listen to anyone.

“What's wrong with him?” Tony asked, “I'll go see him, he must be tired.” you replied.

On your way to your shared bedroom, Bucky pulled you in the corner. “Y/n, doll he’s been going crazy. No one told him about your whereabouts and he was scared about losing you...” You know Steve was scared, not knowing about you and hearing about it from Bucky pained your heart even more. You wanted to run to Steve and shower all the love you have for him. 

“I know Buck, I hate not telling him. But it was for his own safety!” “His safety?” “Yes, the hydra agents wanted to kidnap him. We got a lead, that they wanted to take him away from us and I could not risk that. We didn't know if someone was watching us.” “God he's an idiot, go get that punk and if he acts stubborn let me know I'll kick his ass” “Language!” you both laughed.

As you enter the room, you saw Steve had taken a quick shower and was shirtless just in his sweats lying on the bed.

“Steve?” “Umm” “Please talk to me” “How are you?” “I'm good...I'm...” “Ok” He cut's you mid-sentence. “Steve I know you are angry, but please let’s talk...let me...” “Talk? About what? The fact I have been kept in the dark about my girlfriend's location? Steve yells, making you flinch slightly.

 “Steve please let me explain it was for your own safety. We got...” “My safety?” He shouts, not letting you finish what you want to say.

Steve grabs your shoulders and yells, “I can take care of myself Y/n. I'm fucking Captain America! God dammit do you have any idea what I have been through?” 

Your eyes well up, as you try your best not to cry but his hold was tight. Even though you could see his pain, his anger was hurting you.

“Steve please...let me explain” “Y/n I'm tired, we'll talk later, you need to rest too!”

You just nod, not able to form any words. You decided to shower first, as you took your top off, Steve saw your scar, he kept looking at it. In his mind, he was screaming at himself for shouting at you, but little did you know that. Instead you thought he is disgusted by it. You took fresh clothes and ran inside the bathroom, turning on the hot water, crying your heart out with silent sobs.

Steve could hear you crying, because of his enhanced hearing. But his stupid anger was coming between the both of you. After an hour you came out. Steve saw you, even though he wanted to apologize, his anger made him say something else.

“I'm heading down for a bit” “Where...are you going?” “Just heading out, unlike you, I won't go anywhere without telling you!”

That jab, was like a knife going deep in your heart. You choked your tears...trying your best not to cry. Somewhere you felt you deserved that. You just nod, not looking at him.

“Ok, don't be late for the party...” “Party?” “Yes Tony…he umm has thrown a party for my return…” You didn’t look at him, eyes fixed on the floor. You knew, if you look at him, you won’t be able to control your emotions.

“Okay I'll be back soon; you should rest in the meantime.”

Steve didn’t even looked at you, leaving you alone with dreadful thoughts, as he went out to cool down his own anger.

Part 2

(I wrote this, because I was bored and this was stuck in my head. Comments and feedbacks are appreciated.)

[veltana]

Mutual Satisfaction - Avengers!Bucky x Avengers!Reader

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

✦ Word count: ~3k

✦ Rating: Explicit

✦ Warnings: One shot, pwp, A LOT of dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Bucky, sub!reader, manhandling, piv, slight dumbification, pet names (angel/master), safe sex, condoms, cum shot, aftercare, fluff (because I neeeeed it!)

✦ Summary: "Was it because of what I said," he leans forward to whisper into your ear. The warmth of his body pressing against yours even though he's not touching you. "Did your tiny little brain think of all the ways I could fuck you until you're a mess?"

✦ Note: This is nothing but pure self-indulgent smut, that's heavily dialogue-based. Let me know if you like it! (It's also posted on AO3)

Masterlist | AO3

The chime from your phone makes you look away from the TV screen.

"Sorry, one sec."

You find it buried under some pillows but the excitement you initially felt quickly turns sour when you see the response. With a sigh of disappointment, you drop it and return to choosing a movie together with Bucky.

"Bad news?" he asks as he flips through the list.

"Yup," you conclude.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"It's honestly nothing, just scheduling issues."

"With your boyfriend?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"He's not my boyfriend. We just sleep together," you point out.

"I'm sure you can find someone else, you're an avenger now. Bet they're lining up to get a chance with you," Bucky shrugs.

You scrunch your nose. "I'm tired of being disappointed. I'd rather wait and have my needs met, even if it's frustrating."

"That long huh?"

"Between all the missions and not being free at the same time, it's been months."

"Yeah, same." Bucky murmurs and stops on a movie. "What about this one?"

"Yeah, sure."

You settle down against the numerous pillows you have been bringing to Bucky's room since you started having these movie nights a couple of months ago. His TV is bigger and his couch is much softer than yours. Plus the two of you fit comfortably on this one, with enough room for both to stretch out.

"So why won't just a regular guy do it for you?" Bucky asks and takes a fist of popcorn, stuffing it in his mouth.

Shrugging you say "I need someone I can trust, with my body and my mind. Takes a lot of talking in the beginning, but now it's almost as good as therapy for getting out of my head."

"Don't like thinking?"

"Not during sex. I just need someone else to make decisions for me, use me however they like. Not ask me what I want, just flip me over, make me come until I can't see straight, and fuck me until they're satisfied. If I pick someone up at a bar, all they do is slap my ass and finish a minute later."

Both of you are silent and watch the movie before you ask.

"What about you?"

"Look at me," he chuckles. "The metal arm scares the majority and the ones that are left usually can't handle what I want."

"And what do you want?"

"Control, over something, someone. Watching as they go dumber and dumber the more orgasms I can force from them. Until they can't speak. Just owning their warm body for a moment, taking as long as I need because they don't want to be anywhere else than on my cock," Bucky laughs.

The laugh gets stuck in your throat because there is no denying Bucky's words have an impact on you. Hopefully, he doesn't notice and you refuse to move and rub your thighs together. Then you both continue to watch the movie, but it's hard to concentrate. All you imagine is Bucky using your body and finally getting the release that you've been longing for. How much would it fuck up the team dynamic if you started sleeping together? You force yourself to watch the movie and not entertain those thoughts anymore.

Two hours later, after the table has been cleaned off, you're heading for the door, mind already back in your own room and the toys you'll undoubtedly need to take care of yourself to be able to sleep. Then you feel a hand on your wrist, and in a flash, you’re pinned with your back against the door, Bucky's hand securely holding both your arms above your head. You're not sure if the breath that leaves your lungs is because the force pushes it out of you or because you're instantly so turned on. Either way, there is no denying the impact his closeness has.

"So, are you going to tell me what you've been thinking about the whole movie?" There is a knowing smirk on his lips.

"What? Nothing? I was watching it."

"Don't play dumb with me, you were far off somewhere else for most of the time."

You swallow hard, opening and closing your mouth a few times. It's embarrassing that you've been on his couch, thinking lewd thoughts about him when you're not even that close—something between coworkers and friends.

"Was it because of what I said," he leans forward to whisper into your ear. The warmth of his body pressing against yours even though he's not touching you. "Did your tiny little brain think of all the ways I could fuck you until you're a mess?"

A whine crawls up your throat unbidden and you turn your head to the side, shame making your ears warm.

"All you have to do is ask," he prompts. "Or tell me to let you go and we can pretend this never happened."

The last thing is out of the question. You just need to work up enough courage to tell him what you need. Everything about him pierces your senses, making you high of his smell, touch, and sound.

In the end, all you can come up with is, "Bucky please." And bucking your hips up in the hope of finding some friction for your throbbing core.

But he just makes an unimpressed sound.

"No, you have to do better than that." Then he pauses and uses his free hand to turn your head until you're looking into his blue eyes.

"We'll go over everything properly before next time," his voice is calm and to the point. Making it clear he expects you to listen. "But right now I think we need each other. We'll use traffic lights or you'll tell me if it's too rough or too much. Understand?"

"Yes Bucky," you answer.

He releases your face and your arms, placing his hands on either side of your head instead. With a smile that makes you wetter than you already are, he says, "Good girl. Now do a better job at begging."

He is effectively displaying his whole body for you and in seconds you have your palms on his chest, caressing carefully up and down, feeling his corded muscles beneath the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Bucky please," you beg in a delicate voice. "I need you to touch me. I want to feel you everywhere. Please help me come, it hurts so bad."

His pupils dilate, almost eclipsing the blue in his eyes. Then he presses his knee up between your legs, lifting you off the ground enough that only the tip of your toes reaches the floor.

"Here, use my leg and hump it. We'll see what you deserve after that."

Oh, he's got a mean streak, you realize, and you're all for it. Wiggling on his thigh to get a better position you grab a hold of his shoulders to steady yourself and try to move. It's difficult and not nearly enough to get you where you wish but you're absolutely enjoying the way he's playing with you and speaking to you.

"Look at the innocent little angel using my leg. What else can I make you do to get off huh?"

With a whine you work faster, chasing something barely there.

"Something you'll learn very quickly, little angel, is that I don't share, but I do like showing off my property. Let everyone see but not let anyone touch."

"Yes!" you moan. "I'll be anything you need, just help me, please Bucky!"

"I'll hold you to that," he promises. Suddenly his knee is gone but instead, his body is pressed hard against yours and his lips descend. The kiss is filthy and needy, your hands grab onto his head, trying to get more of him even though he's already as close as he can come. You suck on his tongue and lips and he does the same to you, before mouthing his way over your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking. His beard pricks you but it's a mild discomfort to the one between your legs.

A string of needy noises tumble out of your mouth and you're about to start begging again but right then he lifts you and turns around, heading over to his large bed. As your body touches the sheets his hands start pulling at your clothes and you do the same to him. Moments later both of your are naked on the bed, making out like horny teenagers, rutting mindlessly against each other. His fingers find your hard clit, gently circling it a few times before dipping into the wetness at your opening. You mewl into his mouth in delight, thinking he's going to start filling you with his fingers, but instead, he spreads the slick back up to your clit and starts flicking it slowly.

Throwing your head back you moan his name loudly, no thoughts if you can be heard through the walls, everything is focused on the way he's touching you. His mouth finds your nipple and you get impossibly hotter and wetter. The months-long dry spell quickly catches up to you. Bucky fingers are expertly playing with you, never too hard or too light, hurling you towards the climax.

"Can I cum Bucky? Please can I cum?!"

His laugh tickles your skin, his fingers slow and he looks up at you.

"Yes, you can this time, just because you asked so nicely."

His fingers gather more of your wetness before picking up speed again. The band in your stomach quickly snaps and you scream out your release, blabbering "Thank you-thank you-thank you!"

Without getting a second to breathe you're flipped onto your stomach, then his hands lift your hips and you fold your knees in under you.

"Grab me a condom in the drawer angel," he directs and with unsteady hands and a complaining whine you open the drawer and rummage around until you find a square package.

"Don't whine when I'm trying to do the right thing," he growls and smacks your ass. "I know a little slut like you wants to be pumped full of cum until you're dripping." He leans down over you until his mouth is next to your ear, his raw dick rubbing against your sensitive cunt. Plucking the condom from your fingers he whispers, "You'll have to earn my cum, angel."

A jolt of pleasure-filled electricity shoots through you, just imagining yourself on your knees in front of him, doing anything he asks.

"I'll do anything, master," the name slips out by pure habit. "I'll be good, let you use me in any way you like, any hole. Anything to earn your cum, please, master."

A groan can be heard from behind together with the sound of the foil being torn open. Impatiently you wiggle your ass, arching your back even more, presenting yourself. In reward you get several more slaps, making you cry out as the pain shoots straight to your cunt.

"Oh, angel, keep talking sweet like that and you'll earn yourself another orgasm."

His dick notches at your opening and you still obediently. Both of you moan in unison as he presses inside. He's clearly on the bigger side but there is hardly any resistance since you're dripping with slick. In moments you're fuller than you've been in months, clawing at the sheets in front of you.

"Good girl, taking me so fucking well," his hands spread your cheeks. "I wish you could see how your greedy little pussy is swallowing me."

"Wa-want it, master, want it so much, feels so good!"

A wail leaves you as he starts pistoning his hips into you. If it weren't for the fact that he also pulls your hips back towards him every time, you'd end up with your head in the wall.

"Give me your hands," he instructs and you put them behind your back quickly, folding them and gripping your underarms. His vibranium hand closes around both your wrists while the other grabs your hair, pulling your head back.

You love his harsh grip on you, how he does what he wants with your body while he fucks you. All you can do is moan and whine and cry as he thrusts without any sign of slowing down any time soon. Usually around this time your FWB is about to come, and even though you're always satisfied in the end, sometimes you wish for more. The serum in his veins must give him superhuman stamina when it comes to everything.

Without warning he releases your hair and pulls hard on your arms, raising your body from the bed, his free hand coming round to grab your neck.

"Color?" He grunts, never missing a beat with his hips.

"Green! Bucky it's fucking green. Please! More!"

"You dirty little slut! Can't get enough of my cock huh?"

"No, master, want it always!" You cry.

"That's fucking right, god you feel so good. Next time I'm going to fuck you raw and watch the cum pour out of your pussy. How about right before Tony's big party? Put you in a short little dress with no panties so everyone can see my cum running down your legs."

The image of yourself, flustered and embarrassed while Bucky parades you around makes you keen, pushing back against him. You are nothing but his toy, he can do whatever he wants and you would gladly say 'Yes, master.'

The incessant need to come makes your legs weak, trembling from being held up and fucked within an inch of your life.

"Master, can I come? Your dick feels so good, can I please come on it?"

Releasing your wrists, his vibranium arm comes around your waist, pulling you flush with his chest before traveling down to your aching clit.

"This what you need, angel?"

The unrelenting metal against the softest part of your flesh pulls more desperate sounds from you as you try to rock against it, the pleasure eating you up from the inside, erasing every trace of cognitive thought. When you don’t answer he chuckles next to your ear, "I think my cock has made you dumb, angel. No thoughts left in that tiny little head of yours."

Your hands land on his arm, needing something to hold onto. He hasn’t permitted you yet, the orgasm is shimmering right underneath your skin, threatening to break through any second. The only thing you know is that you don’t want to disappoint him.

"My angel is doing so good, go ahead and come for me, make sure you scream my name when you do. Let everyone hear that this cunt belongs to me."

Instead of continuing with his fingers, his whole palm lands on your clit, a few slaps that don’t hurt in the slightest, only enhancing your pleasure, before the heel of his hand presses against your clit.

"Come on, show me how you look when you let go. Be a good little angel for me, come on my cock."

In a blinding light of pleasure, you scream his name, just like he wants, bending your head until it rests against his shoulder, shuddering and shaking from the release.

"Looking beautiful my little angel, so fucking pretty, strangling my cock." He hugs you tightly towards him for a second before pushing you forward. Your arms only cushion the fall lightly, there is no strength left in your body. Looking over your shoulder you see his eyes, blazing with lust, his mouth slightly open. Then he pulls out and you watch him tear the condom off, jerking himself, and with a loud groan of your name he finishes on your ass and back. As the spurts of cum hit your skin you close your eyes and sigh in contentment. Owned. Used. Satisfied for the first time in months.

With a giggle you fall to the side, uncaring if you're messing up his sheets. He lands on his back in front of you a moment later, chest still heaving.

"That was…" he begins, turning his head towards you with a small smile. Before continuing he rolls over on his side, reaching and pulling you in towards his naked chest, tilting your head up, and placing a small chaste kiss on your lips.

"Amazing? Wonderful? Mind-blowing?" you suggest with a smile to finish his sentence.

"All of the above angel."

For a couple of minutes, you lie there, just content with what just happened, before Bucky says,

"Come on, we need to clean you up."

He stands from the bed and picks you up with no effort, carrying you to the small bathroom and turning on the shower. Carefully he places you down on the tile and the warm spray is a harsh contrast to the cold sweat that has dried on your skin.

"How do you feel?"

Your only response is a happy humming noise that makes him smile, before he reaches for a bottle of shower gel. He makes you turn around, leaning your arms against the wall as he begins to clean you. His touch is firm as he washes your back and ass, giving you a light massage before he moves on to the rest of your body. Then you help him, even if what you do is mostly smear suds over his pecs. When he's done the both of you stand under the warm spray.

"Any immediate soreness?" He asks.

"No," you sigh happily. "Might feel something tomorrow, but we'll see then."

He finds you a clean towel afterward and dries you off, before handing you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. Without questioning you put them on.

Fortunately, the sheets have minimal staining and both of you are too exhausted to care about changing them. Suddenly you realize you've just fucked Bucky and now you're staying in his bed for the night, with your head resting on his chest.

"What is this Bucky?" you mumble, even as sleep is dragging you down.

"Whatever you want it to be, angel, we'll work out the details in the morning," he assures you.

And if the other people at the compound heard you the night before, or notice that you're wearing one of Bucky's t-shirts to breakfast the next day, nobody says a word.

[lotomber]

Hello! hope your day is good! Can I request a Dazai x fem reader oneshots for a Royalty AU!

Where Dazai and reader were forced into an arranged marriage for war peace/ something else. At first Dazai doesn't like the idea and kinda hated reader, but eventually fall in love with her because of her kindness and patient.

I know it's kinda alot but hopefully you consider my request!

Thank you!

Hello, I really liked your idea👀 I tried my best to make it to your liking. Do tell me if you enjoyed it.😄

Yes to heaven ~✨Pt1|| Pt2

(ROYALTY AU!)

Pairing: Prince Dazai x Fem! Reader

Warning: arranged marriage, Enemies to lovers, Dazai being an ass to you at first, slightly suggestive at the end

Word count: ~1.4k

The Crown Prince of Eastern empire was known to be free soul, someone who doesn't like to be bound by rules and regulations. To such a Prince an arranged marriage was a nightmare. It all happened when he was summoned by the emperor a month ago. It was not the first time when his father the king arranged a married partner for him, he always used his antics to get rid of them but this time it was different. Dazai was told that if he doesn't agree to marry the princess of western empire he would be dethroned from his position as the prince, just for the sake of peace negotiations.

" Your Highness, the delegation from the western empire will be arriving tomorrow. And the wedding will be held the day after. I was told by the king to inform you all the preparations are done so you are to escort the princess tomorrow." said the grand chamberlain.

" Hah!! why should I escort her ? "

" That's cause she is your fiancée and soon to be wife. and I am sure the emperor already warned you to be on your best behavior" chamberlain warned him.

Dazai really hated the idea of marrying a complete stranger, much to his dismay he had no choice in this matter.

Next day when the delegation arrived Dazai was also waiting for you. He pretended not to but was still somewhat curious about what kind of person you were. The moment you came out of your carriage, Dazai was mesmerized by your beauty, he had heard the rumors of the western princess being an absolute beauty, he felt that the rumors did no justice to your beauty. But he tried to maintain his façade of not being interested. After all the formalities and the audience with the emperor, Dazai was told to show you your chamber.

It was finally the two of you alone and you tried to initiate a conversation with him but he paid no heed to your small talks.

" I'll get straight to the point, this marriage is just for the sake of our countries not because we want it. so don't even try to expect something from me. Either way you'll have to bear me. The maids will show you the rest of the way." Dazai deadpanned and just left you there before you could even reply.

After that you didn't get any opportunity to see him until the wedding. It was a grand wedding, delegations from various countries were there to witness the two empires tying knot. But to Dazai none of it mattered it was just something he had to get over with.

After the wedding was over, you were waiting for him in your chambers for the first night but he never came. The next morning you asked the maids about Dazai's whereabouts, they told you that he left the palace this early morning to inspect nearby villages due to flooding and won't be back for another week. A week passed and you were quick to adjust to your new surroundings, due to your open personality everyone took a liking to you already. When Dazai returned he saw you taking a walk in the garden, talking to the knights nearby. That evening he invited you for tea and you finally got the chance to talk to him.

" Hmm ~ I see you are already familiarized with the people in the palace. One might even think you've been living here for a long time." Dazai said sarcastically.

" Well after all my husband left me alone for a week just after our marriage so I had to get accustomed here. " Dazai was vexed by your response.

" I think I already told you not to expect anything from me. Besides you are surprisingly doing well for someone who was married off in a foreign land against her will. "

" I think you are mistaken about something, although it's true our marriage was arranged but marrying you was my own choice, no one forced this all on me." you told him firmly. Dazai was shocked by your response.

" Good for you then. Suit yourself. " he said hiding his initial bewilderment and then left.

After that day Dazai joined you for lunch or dinner frequently. Sometimes he also joined you for tea or brunches. He stopped avoiding you to a certain measure, instead he started to playfully annoy you but you were never bothered by him. You both started to hit it off together sometimes he rants to you about how the other nobles bother him or how his father nags him about his responsibilities. Or he just simply jokes around. He also started to observe you more, despite being a princess initially, you never looked down on others you always treated others with kindness no matter their status. You were not like the other stuck up noble women he met before. As the time went by you just started to plague his mind.

Soon after a banquet and a grand ball was held in celebration of emperor's birthday. Everyone was quiet busy due to the preparations, so was Dazai he couldn't find time to meet you. It was on the day of the ball he could finally see you after a long time. As you were to go together as a couple. You were getting ready by your maids when when he came to pick you up, so he was told to stay outside. When you came outside Dazai couldn't take his eyes off of you, calling you pretty was an understatement. To him you looked like an angel descended from heaven. Your long silk gown cupping your curves perfectly, Your long hair tied up in a bun letting some loose strands fall on your shoulders, those long eyelashes, your eyes which seemed to contain the whole universe in them, oh and those red lips of yours oh how would it feel to touch them ? He could feel himself melt in your presence.

" Shall we go ? " as you asked him he was shook away from his trance.

He was quiet all the way to the ballroom which was unusual for him and you were quick to notice that he was acting strange. Before you could ask him what was wrong your entry was announced.

Crown prince Dazai and princess ( name ) have arrived.

After that you both proceeded to greet the emperor and few other nobles. It was your first time coming to such a social event after your marriage. You were quickly surrounded by people who wanted to win your favor. You tried to find Dazai but he was pulled by other nobles. After some time you were able to get out of from the crowd. You were completely exhausted so you decided to have drink. Just then someone came to ask you for a dance, you puzzled whether to accept or not cause it would be impolite to reject his invitation. Suddenly Dazai came from behind and grabbed you by your waist.

" Sorry gentlemen but my wife seems to be tired so we will be taking our leave. If you will excuse us ." Dazai said smiling but there was an underlying sternness in his voice. Everyone left you alone after that. For the whole evening Dazai couldn't take off his eye from you, he saw you surrounded by those snake like people trying to gain your attention. What pissed him even more were those scummy men who were trying to approach you thinking as if they have a chance with you.

As for you, It was the first time Dazai ever called you his wife you were taken aback by his demeanor so you just asked him,

" Since when did you start calling me your wife?" you taunted him.

" Well technically you are my wife so what's wrong with me calling you my wife. Besides I don't like idea of those dirtbags thinking they could have what's mine." He then pulled you away to an empty balcony. Before you could say anything he cupped your cheeks placing his thumb on your lips smudged your lipstick. You could feel your blood running through your cheeks making you blush.

" Dazai wha- He shuts you abruptly by locking his lips with yours, It was a slow and sensual kiss. He could feel you melt in his arms as you reciprocated his kiss, hooking your arms on his neck. Both of you pull apart for a second to look at each other, then once again lean in to kiss but this time more passionate, all your senses were overpowered by the feeling of pure ecstasy, running out of breathe you pulled away again. Then Dazai suddenly whispers in your ear " Don't you think we have postponed our first night for quiet a long time~ "

[userparamore]

I get that you don’t like Taylor but can you not see paramores growth as band because of the eras tour they seem so happy to be on that stage every night be grateful for that

first of all i don't really understand why you're coming for me over post that isn't even mine. second of all i'm allowed to be a fan of a band and be critical of them at the same time, and i've expressed my disappointment over this since the tour was announced. i'm not gonna beat a dead horse and bring up why i'm critical of this tour again in this answer, but the act of them being on this tour really says a lot about them for me in a negative way, and i think it's hypocritical of them after preaching about sustainability and equal rights for all.

paramore is also not some small indie band no one has heard of. they've been doing this for 20 years, they've sold out big venues, played madison square garden multiple times, they played their biggest show ever on the this is why aus&nz tour with 26,283 tickets sold in sydney. multiple of their biggest songs on spotify is close to a billion streams and they have 21 million monthly listeners. all this growth they've done, they've done on their own- sure it's nice that more people discover them, but they didn't need this tour to be successful. they already were.

also for me personally, this tour leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i come from a country where if i'm lucky they tour once every album cycle. i've been lucky to see them 2 times and the last time was in 2017. they played a festival so i didn't get to see a full set. they've been to my country four times total and 1 concert wasn't a festival. the eras tour didn't have a show in my country, and i wasn't about to fight swifties for tickets that are extremely expensive. in the end my friend ended up having a spare ticket to one of the vienna shows bc the person they were originally gonna go with ended up not being able to go, and i was asked if i wanted to go. me and this friend first became friends bc we both liked paramore, and they've never been able to see them live. travelling to vienna to have that experience together, i would sit through 3h of taylor swift for. i spent close to 2000 dollars on the whole trip including the ticket, for it to end up being cancelled. very happy we didn't die, but it still sucked to have spent all that money and the not be able to go. especially since this would've been my friend's first paramore live experience.

i'm happy they're having fun playing their greatest hits for 3 months. i'm happy for my mutuals who's been able to go and have had a good time. the money they earn will probably go to their new label, and hopefully we won't have to wait 5 years for new music. but don't tell me to be grateful.

i try my best to make this community a welcoming space. i try my best to contribute with gifs and edits, and post news when there are news. i've hosted countdown events, i've hosted/made zines, i've hosted gif challenges. i want to do all these things bc it's fun to be part of this community and i love the friends i've made here. but i can still do all those things, and not have to kiss paramore's ass. i can still express myself and speak on the things i don't agree with bc it's my blog. we've had "debates" in my inbox before, people have expressed their opinions on paramore before, and it's always respectful which i appreciate. we as a community can disagree on things and still be a community.

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 19 thoughts:

Hopefully this is the only time I have more than a month wait between arc recaps. I was distracted.

Not a long arc really, but god damn did a lot happen.

My daughter is no longer eaten . . . ate . . . aten . . .

My daughter is no longer inside of a creature. That's good. Even though I was obviously 100% fine at the end of arc 18. I'm just more fine now.

Big props to Weld for just going swimming in a giant flesh pool and pulling people (and dogs!) out. He's an ok guy.

Based on the weird "dreams" Skitter was having while inside Echidna I am running on the assumption that the clones are pulled from alternate reality versions of the consumed person where said person had died. Well, not the clones themselves really, but the powers of the clones (and possibly their personalities/memories). Not sure it will end up mattering, with Echidna being dead.

But basically I think the dreams were partially visions of alternate realities.

I've been on the "alternate realities are gonna play a big role and are tied to powers and everything" boat for awhile now, but this arc finally brought that all to the forefront of everything. Just with Scapegoat and Scrub's power, clone Eidolon's powers, the door, and such. So that's cool!

Speaking of Scapegoat, I love his ridiculous little power. I saw it coming the second I saw the name and I was enjoying every second of it.

"She’s fucking blind!?" has gotta be one of the best moments in Worm so far.

Skitter finally realizes that Tattletale has been very clearly taking actions to portray her as the leader to everyone else. Cause bad ass lesbian super villain trio is everything.

Skitter hard carried the second Echidna fight. Everyone would probably be fucked if she wasn't there.

Starting off with taking out the teleporter Grue clone. My girl knows rule number 1. First, GEEK THE MAGE!

And of course she was using her bugs to monitor the entire battlefield, but then she starts giving information and direction to everyone. Kept track of clones, preventing any (hopefully) from escaping). And taking out a fair share of them herself!

Fucking just full on use swarm speech to speak to everyone across the battlefield at once! FUCK YES SHE IS BADASS!

I'm sure Shatterbird won't show up again and isn't going to be an issue at all!

And she's the one that sets up the trap to cut Echidna in half and contain clone Eidolon so Miss Militia can take him out! Clockblocker gets partial credit for helping I guess. But still, Skitter saved all their asses 10 times over.

Also Clockblocker is obsessed with my daughter. Kid has it baaaaaaaad.

I love that in the first few chapters there is some teasing of Cauldron's secrets being spilled a little bit, then Legend completely reveals that Cauldron exists but lies about details, and then suddenly clone Eidolon just dumps everything out there!

Faultline and crew - "We…worked on finding info on Cauldron for a year…and…he just…he shouted it out."

And through all of this Tattletale just out here like "I'm gonna tear a hole in reality!" God I love this reckless chaos child.

Gully deserves to punch a few Cauldron people. As a treat.

Lisa "I took one look at you and instantly knew I would take over the fucking city just to see you smile" Wilbourn over here! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY IT'S SO GAY!

"OH NO LOOK AT THAT POOR TRAUMATIZED CUTE GIRL, I CAN FIX HER!" IS THE MOST LESBIAN THING

Real quote: "Maybe- maybe when the interuniversal trade takes off. Can you imagine? With me and you as the top dogs? The whole world will pay attention to us." HOW CAN SHE BE THIS LESBIAN?

CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SMUGBUG SMUGBUG SMUGBUG if you prefer)

THEY CAN RULE THE WORLD TOGETHER AND I WILL FORGIVE ALL WRONGS DONE TO REACH THAT POINT CAUSE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! (Also obviously Rachel will be there too.)

(I'm sure Taylor crumpling the papers from Dinah in her fists at the end of the arc isn't ominous at all.)

Blasto Interlude thoughts:

Sucks to be Blasto I guess

Accord is terrible as always, glad to see more of him. Love his minions.

Colin can't do anything right. Seriously dude you cut Bonesaw in half and still lost! You have magic cut through anything and turn it to dust tech and you couldn't kill her! God.

Dragon is hard carrying this SH9 hunting team.

She got Manton! That's crazy! Good job robot daughter!

I 100% do not expect Siberian to stay gone. I mean outright Bonesaw is gonna be cloning people and she can probably get some of his DNA. But even without that, it was just too convenient, happening off screen like that. I dunno. It's not safe.

Also Blasto, I'm really sorry about what happened to you but also you tried to make a half Simmy clone! God damn that was the dumbest thing you could ever have done. You are so lucky it didn't work (probably), cause if it did it would have been because she planned it. God damn.

Time for the Slaughterhouse 99 or whatever. Gonna really suck for people.

Parahumans Online Interlude thoughts:

Timeskip!!! Shortish timeskip but still! It's been so day to day for so long so suddenly jumping ahead was surprising.

Greg from act 1 is back! And also kinda a dick. And probably has a Thinker 1 power. Tattletale light basically. Fits with what Taylor said about him in act 1 too.

GstringGirl is probably Sveta, that feels right.

Glad to see the Case 53s making their own team, that's a good start.

WagTheDog wanting to work for Bitch is super cute! I'm glad it seems like that is going to work out.

Loved seeing some of the stuff of people talking about Skitter. I've been wanting to see what the general public has been saying about her cause from an outside perspective the stuff she has done seems 10 times crazier than it is, and it is already crazy.

Emma Interlude thoughts:

Fuck this bitch

Sure she went through a really hard situation and she has terrible parents and it is easy to see how she got to where she is, but that doesn't excuse her actions. I still don't like her at all.

I don't know how much more I need to say, except that Alan shouldn't have left his traumatized daughter home alone with the instructions "If you feel like doing something bad please call the therapist who's number I put on the fridge" christ dude. You are worse every time you show up.

Like learning that Alan knows everything about Sophia as well? Just makes him even worse! Probably upgraded from a 3 fire asshole to a 4 fire asshole by now.

[dabilove27]

Chapter 4

Chapter 3 | Next Chapter

Paring: Shuji Hanma x Fem!Reader, Draken (Ken Ryuguji) x Fem! Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings:  Pet name “Kitten, Babe, my girl.” Fingering, some possessive thoughts, edging, light dacryphilia, female receiving oral, sex. Mentions of smoking. Let me know if I missed anything!

a/n: Hello! If anyone is still waiting for this I'm so sorry it took so long! Life has been crazy with a toddler and work that just seems to get busier by the day. Thank you so much for being patient if you are still here! We get a little spicy with Shuji but I promise Draken will come up in future chapters. Thank you so much to my loves @lady-lunaaa and @gixxie for beta'ing! hopefully the next one won't take seven months!

To say things with Hanma became hot and heavy fast was an understatement. After the date at the coffee shop, the two of you began to see each other regularly.

And Hanma spared absolutely no expense as the dates progressed. At first, it was just trying to fit each other into your busy schedules. With school and his work, the two of you tended to meet late at night. Hitting up small ramen shops that stayed open late or just walking down the dimly lit streets, talking and getting to know each other.

You stayed far away from any subject that might bring up Draken. Instead, you focused on your studies and trivial things about your family. But Hanma always listened with rapt attention. Whether it was bent over a small table at a restaurant with golden eyes bearing into your soul or walking through the streets at night hands linked together. It was weird having someone get to know you and to be able to tell them only what you wanted them to know. It was so different from the childhood friend who grew up experiencing everything with you.  

But as always, you stuffed those feelings deep down because you refused to let the past bleed into this relationship. And Hanma shared with you–well, maybe shared was the wrong term. Hanma spoke in riddles and encouraged you to figure out his underlying meaning. But just like the night you met him, you pushed back with each challenge, you worked on reading between the lines and uncovering what he was really trying to show you.

So far, you discovered that whatever gang he was in was well known. One of the top ones in the area. It made your stomach churn to wonder if he knew Draken in his work and what that might mean for your future with Hanma. You also learned about his closest friend, Tetta Kisaki. Hanma would reminisce about the transfers to different gangs before landing in his current position. He described Kisaki as a "hard ass" but spoke about him as if they were as close as brothers. He also talked about being known as the former "Kabukicho Reaper." 

It was comforting because you knew this world of fighting for power and living on the edge. But it also made your heart ache because of how Hanma shared all of this with you, and it seemed like he genuinely wanted you involved in his life in a way that Draken never could.

But again, you didn't try to dwell on it. Instead, you focused on your future. Because honestly, you still had plans to travel with your degree and were still determining if you and Hanma would be long-term. You chose to enjoy the moments with him now and take what would come as it came. 

Subtle changes began happening, though, as your relationship progressed with Hanma. Summer break came, and that opened up a whole new avenue for your relationship. You were finally available at reasonable hours, and Hanma could adjust his schedule to take you out on "proper" dates. 

And apparently, proper dates included fancy restaurants. Restaurants that you would've never imagined. Incredibly fancy sushi places with a month's waitlist, a classy place in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo, and a small but exclusive spot right outside Tokyo Tower. 

You had learned that Hanma liked to wow you. He seemed to take pleasure every time your words were taken from you as you gawked at each new spot. But along with the extravagant dates, you and Hanma couldn't seem to keep away from each other. Just like when his fingers grazed your lips from that first date, it was like an irresistible pull to touch each other. 

It started out innocent enough with a gentle hand holding and his hand placed on your lower back. But with every date, the pull became stronger. The first time he kissed you was right outside of your apartment building. Like a typical romance movie, he pressed a gentle peck to your lips, setting your stomach on fire. You couldn't help but lift your hand to the back of his neck and pull him in deeper. The world seemed to crumble around the two of you, not caring who saw the kiss that was becoming deeper with each moment. 

Hanma took control, his tongue swiping against your lips requesting entrance. You didn't even hesitate, and Hanma loved that about you. He loved how pliable you were in his hands but also how determined you were. You were soft but strong, and he liked that very much. Your tongues met in a fiery greeting, desperate to pull the air from each other's lungs. But just as it started, it ended quickly. The two of you pulled apart to catch your breath. And while you stood there like a newborn foal, your legs felt like they would crumble beneath you; Hanma stood there, utterly calm, as if this didn't phase him.

He made your mind race. He made you want to chase him but he always returned to you. Just enough for you to catch him momentarily before leaving you wanting more. You had to admit it was exhilarating. But the next step was an intimidating one. 

You had only had sex with a few guys during your college career. And unfortunately, they were constantly being compared to Draken in your mind. Not that you and Ken ever had sex, but you can't pretend you didn't think about it. But you didn't want to do that to Hanma. You had actual feelings for him, unlike the one-night stands. 

All you wanted for your first time with Hanma was to be Ken-free. The comparisons would drive you absolutely insane. You supposed that's why you waited so long to accept Hanma's invitation to his apartment. Because you weren't sure, you were ready. But after months of dates and wandering hands from both of you, you were dying to see what hid under those suits he wore. Deep down, you looked forward to connecting to him that way, even though you were afraid to admit it because it meant you gave a part of yourself to someone else. Because after what happened with Draken, you didn't ever want to be that vulnerable again. 

It's July when you finally accept his proposal to spend the night. You packed a small night bag with toiletries, comfortable night clothes, and a lacy silk black night slip that showed enough skin to pique interest but covered what you wanted. You wanted to be sexy but still play this game of cat and mouse you enjoyed with him.

Hanma was intoxicating, always pulling you in. You had no idea what his place would be like, but you had to say you were shocked when you arrived at the high rise in Tokyo. In the cool early evening, the lights of multiple apartments lit up the sky of the towering building. 

Steeling your nerves, you stepped into the lobby of the grand building. You knew that Hanma probably got paid well by his taste in dates, but you never imagined it would be this well. Just imagining the cost of a small apartment here made your head spin. But you tried to act like you belonged in this place. Holding your head high, you crossed the marble floor, your heels clicked with each step.   

The elevator was just as lavish as the lobby, clean and crisp with a pleasant ding as it notified you of its arrival to the floor. You quickly glanced back at your phone to confirm the floor. Fifty-seven, jeez. You scanned the illuminated buttons as the numbers climbed until you finally reached the final one. He lives on the top floor!? 

Your anxiety twisted in your stomach as you contemplated what this meant. Top floors meant penthouses or lavish apartments from every show you've watched. Well, this whole building was great, but you couldn't imagine what it looked like up there. But you refused to chicken out, reminding yourself that this is another step to moving forward with your life. To move past Draken. 

The elevator seemed to take forever to reach the top floor, but finally, after what seemed like the most anxious few minutes of your life, it pinged to announce your arrival. Stepping out into the hallway, you glanced around and moved out slowly as if something was about to reach out and grab you.

Your eyes scanned a hallway that matched the opulent entry of the building. In the middle of the hallway, on the wall opposite the elevator, sat an all-black door with the number "570" on a silver nameplate next to it. Hanma's apartment was the only one on this floor, and judging by the size of the hallway. 

Steeling your nerves, you ambled to the door wetting your lips quickly–a nervous habit that tended to leave your lips chapped. The door seemed more oppressive as you stood before it, knowing what's on the other side. Knocking quietly, you hoped Hanma heard it so you didn’t have to be awkward and knock again. 

And thankfully, your silent prayers were answered. Within less than a minute, the tall man you've been spending time with opened the door. And fuck he looked good. Strangely even better than in his typical suits and ties. He's dressed casually, a sight you typically don't see, but he still looks like he could kill. His hair was messy, and his glasses were off, leaving no barrier between his piercing gaze and yourself. 

"Welcome to my humble abode," his voice was light with a hint of mischief as he stepped away from the threshold to let you come in. You had to stop yourself from gawking as you walked into the entrance area of his apartment. It was so spacious. With much higher ceilings than you expected. If it wasn't for the floor-to-ceiling windows that show the tops of buildings reaching toward the night sky, you would've thought you were in a single-story home. 

Hanma continued to talk about mundane things about his home as you slip off your shoes and continue to walk through the living area and kitchen. Everything was modern to a T. You were shocked at how clean it is. You hadn't expected a bachelor's apartment to be spotless and well-designed.  

"You decorated this place?" The question slipped out before you could pull it back in. Warmth reached your face, embarrassed that you sounded so judgemental. 

But typical Hanma rolled with the punches quickly as he always did. "Why kitten, you hurt me!" His voice was overly dramatic as he made an exaggerated shocked expression. "I have style, you know." 

Rolling your eyes, you forgot all about the embarrassment because it was obvious he wasn't offended, and you were almost positive you wouldn’t get a straight answer out of him now. The two of you made quiet conversation as he showed you around, from the state-of-the-art kitchen to the sleek living area and the expansive view of Tokyo.

But the sexual tension in the air was heavy, and the palpitations of what's to come thrummed deeply in your chest. Hanma's words seemed fuzzy as he opened the wooden door to his bedroom. It matched the house's aesthetic; deep dark tones of modernized furniture paired with lowlights make it seem more sensual than just a place for sleeping.    

But again, what drew your gaze the most is another set of floor-to-ceiling windows. You approached quietly, scanning the entire city, and twinkling lights from multiple buildings and homes dot the landscape. It was absolutely stunning. 

"Shuji, I didn't take you for the exhibitionist," you turned around to stare back into his golden gaze, trying to break the unsaid sexual tension with some humor. 

"For you, babe? I'll explore anything," his voice was low, sending a rush through you. You knew that he would stop at any time if you asked him, but the thrill of him watching you like prey only charged the energy in the room.    

You tried to stay calm and collected, but your heart was hammering so loud you're sure he could hear it. But Hanma had gotten to know you better than that. He knew you were swallowing the anxiety and that your mind was racing with never ending thoughts. He moved closer to you, lifting one of his tattooed hands to cup your cheek, enticing you to move closer to him. The two of you were so close your nose brushed his as he gently brought his lips to yours, as his thumb caressed your cheek. Some of your anxiety eased as you smiled against his lips, thankful you never have to explain yourself. He just knew.   

The kiss deepened, and you could taste him on your tongue, sweet and intoxicating. His hands slowly trailed down your sides until it met the hem of your shirt and slowly slipped inside. Your thoughts became clouded with excitement as those last anxious moments faded away.

His touch was feverish against your skin as he slowly moved you to the bed. He carefully guided you onto the plush black comforter and then stood back to tower over you. 

His black and blonde hair fell before his golden eyes as he appraised you.  

"What did I do to get so lucky? To have such a gorgeous woman in my bed?" 

Hanma usually always had a sense of playfulness in his voice, but this time, it felt more serious. You always believed the praises he poured onto you, but tonight his words held a different weight. Hanma continued to explore you, trailing gentle kisses down your chest. Annoyance from the barrier between you two encouraged Hanma to remove your top and bra; his fingers continued to follow the curves of your body as the tip of his thumb brushed over your nipples.

It was like all that time the two of you have been waiting to explore each other exploded; he couldn’t seem to pull away from you. He brought his mouth down to one of your awaiting nipples and pulled it into his mouth. You couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped. He’s now climbed on top of you, his clothed knee between your thighs. You ached for any friction and contemplated moving down to rub against him. Each movement only made you needy for more. Running your hands through his multi-colored hair, you tugged him close to you, urging him to do more.             

You watched him like a dog starving for attention as his hands quickly removed the button on his pants. But he was always in control and didn’t let you see all of him just yet. Instead, he returned to you, placing soft kisses down your shoulder, and followed the rest of your body until he met your clothed cunt. Every single touch, every single kiss added fuel to the burning desire inside of you.

Eventually, Hanma removed the rest of your clothing, leaving you bare against his black sheets. Hanma had only removed his shirt though and you ached for more. His long fingers skittered across your skin and down to your core, gently gathering the wetness. 

"I want to hear everything from you, kitten. No one can hear us, I promise," Hanma purred as he finally inserted a long digit inside you. He was drawing it out, moving much slower than you wanted. But you couldn’t stop the whine that escaped your lips even then. 

As he pumped his index finger in and out of you, his thumb found your aching clit, he began with soft circles, teasing you even more, pushing you closer to the edge. Your plushy walls pulsed around his finger as wet, squelching sounds met the large room.

"Look at you, already this spent, and we've barely started. Who knew you'd be so responsive."

All you could do is moan at his words, too excited to form a coherent sentence.    

Hanma let out a dark chuckle as he edged your thighs apart. He cursed at the low lighting in the room because he would love to get a good view of your aching pussy right now as he moved his face closer. His fingering didn’t stop; it continued at a slow pace that was driving you to the edge. It felt a little embarrassing to have him so close to your pussy, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to have him worship you so profoundly.

You were getting more impatient, though, and let out a whine, hoping it would encourage him to give you more. And finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, he added another digit. The stretch felt good, but Hanma kept his steady pace, ignoring the bucking of your hips. He loved the way you moved beneath him, entirely under his control. You are his.   

You tried to continue to encourage him to pick up his pace to give you something more. And finally, he conceded, curling his fingers inside of you. He was moving faster, bringing you closer to breaking that coil that is so tight inside of you. But then his ministrations stopped, and you couldn’t help but cry, defeated.   

Hanma repeated this cycle multiple times, bringing you to the edge only to pull away before everything breaks. It left you breathless and begging for more. 

"You're so fucking cute, you know? Begging so sweetly for me," his voice was light, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to respond. Your cheeks were wet from the tears rolling down your face. A wide grin stretched across his face as he took his other hand and wiped away one of your tears with a swipe of his thumb. 

"I've never seen you cry before, but fuck it's a beautiful sight." You felt your insides flutter at the praise. But still, you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, your mind too caught up in a fog of pleasure. 

"Okay, kitten, I'll let you cum now," his voice was playful, a clear message of how he loved toying with you.

Another whine escaped your lips, ready to have some sort of release. Hanma brought his head between your legs and, without warning, covered your clit with his warm mouth. His tongue moved expertly over the tight little bud as his fingers rammed into you.

And finally you came hard. A scream ripped through you, tired of being silenced for so long as your body shook from the dam bursting inside you. Your body began to settle into that post-orgasmic bliss, weighted down by the activity like you would float away on a cloud. But Hanma didn’t stop. He continued to tease you as his tongue glided over your clit over and over. 

"Shuji!" you screamed, begging him to release you.

It all became too much, and you moved erratically beneath him, but he held you in place effortlessly. His large hands pushed down on your hips, leaving you no escape. He continued his onslaught on your pussy with his tongue, and you were singing into the evening with sounds of pleasure. Your eyes met his golden lust-filled gaze as he held you down; his arm was taut as you moved beneath him. There was danger in his eyes, like he was stalking his prey and finally had it right where he wanted it.

Everything was building up again, and a second climax roared through you. The shocks of your orgasm sinked into every part of you, leaving you numb. It was all overwhelming. You tried to get your mind back down to this plain, but it seemed to be floating away.    

As you tried to gather yourself, Hanma moved above you. His warm hands, which were just ruthless moments ago, began to caress you. Soft movements of fingers grazed your tear-stained cheeks, and sweet kisses finally helped you calm down.

You looked at him again. The darkness of the room, only illuminated by the city sky outside his home, surrounded you. You could have never imagined a moment so raw for you, not after everything with Ken. Hanma was able to pull you so far away. Hanma was beautiful, with a sharp jawline, broad shoulders, and golden eyes. 

Your eyes met his, and it felt like nothing else existed except the two of you. 

"I'm going to make you mine." 

Hanma's lips captured yours, hot and heavy, devouring you wholly. He pulled you closer to him, his hand wrapped around the back of your head.

You couldn’t seem to separate from him. You wanted to beg him to take you, but one breath away from him was too much to bear. Eventually, somehow, you ended up on top of him, every item of clothing discarded on the floor. His cock laid heavy between your wet folds as excitement moved through your body.        

Every movement was driving you insane. Pleas escape from your lips as the head of his cock nudged your sensitive clit.    

The two of you stared each other down, golden eyes smoldering in the evening as you finally sank down on him. You wrapped your fingers around his shoulders, allowing him to stretch you out. His cock was long and thick, feeling like heaven as it sinks deeper inside you. You took all of him, pushing his tip right against your cervix.

Slowly, Hanma guided you, his hands holding your hips as he helped you find a rhythm. It felt like he's waited a lifetime to feel you like this. He cooed sweet compliments in your ears over and over. His voice caught in the cutest stutter when you squeezed him.

His eyes were still locked with yours as you bounced on his cock. There was absolutely nothing that could tarnish this moment.

"You're so fucking perfect," his voice was low as he panted out the words. Everything felt intense like you were the only two people in this world that existed.

But the response you gave reminded Hanma why he fell for you. How you've always caught him off guard. "You're pretty good yourself, Shuji." 

His hips crashed into yours as he allowed the emotion to fully take him under. The room was filled with the sounds of your bodies meeting. 

Both of you reached your orgasms within moments of each other. Hanma couldn’t help it when your plush walls began to pulse around his cock. His balls tightened as he spilled himself inside of you. You savored the aftershocks and the subtle twitch of his member inside you. 

The two of you were silent, Hanma refused to pull out just yet. The distant city sounds and your heavy breaths were the only things permeating the air. 

Hanma finally broke the silence with a low chuckle before slowly pulling out of you with a soft hiss. He pulled back and pushed a strand of your hair back while leaving a gentle kiss on your lips.

"I know this is cliche, but that was fucking amazing," he whispered as he pulls back, lifting himself slowly off the bed. You met his wide grin with one of your own. Hanma beckoned you to the bathroom with an outstretched hand, and you didn’t hesitate before gingerly getting out of bed and following him. 

After that, you and Hanma became practically inseparable. Spending almost every moment of free time together when he wasn’t at work or you weren’t at school. Private moments were heated, and no matter how long the time apart, you reunited like long lost lovers. 

Hanma still kept his work relatively secret from you, which you understood from your past with Ken, but you couldn’t stop wondering if he ever had run-ins with Toman. But you tried to keep yourself from asking and possibly uncovering something that would hurt you. Deep down, you wanted the best for Ken. You hoped he's living a life that makes him happy.               

Days turned into months, and months became a year of being together. The flame with Hanma was heavy, devouring every part of you as the two of you progressed. And eventually, Hanma decided to let you deeper into his world. 

He initially didn't introduce you to Kisaki because he wasn't sure how long you would stay with him. While most girls he had been with liked the danger of his job, they would disappear when faced with the reality of meeting his cohorts. 

But you were eternally different from all of them. Hanma loved that you hold a soft part of yourself and a part that took no shit. It kept him guessing, constantly wondering what part of you he would get next. And that only solidified him taking you to finally meet Kisaki.  

Hanma picked a neutral place, a small family-style restaurant with enough hustle and bustle that there would be little attention if things got out of hand. He didn’t expect things to get crazy, but he has learned over many years to plan instead of dealing with the unexpected.

Hanma gently ushered you into the small doorway of the restaurant, his hand delicately placed on your lower back. The smell of fried food greeted both of you instantly. He began to search around the restaurant. Kisaki had already sent him a text that he had arrived. 

Dyed blonde hair and a shine of golden framed glasses finally came into sight. Hamna donned a broad smile as he walked over with you across the wooden floor. 

"Tetta!" Hanma called out across the restaurant with no regard for formalities. The man with blonde hair whipped his head in Hanma's direction with a scowl. 

It was strange that the two of them were friends. Hanma even said it himself, they were polar opposites. Hanma was loud and acted impulsively, whereas Kisaki sat quietly and planned everything to the last moment. But somehow, the two bonded over years of working together, from what Hanma has told you. 

Anxiety churned in your gut as the two of you approached the table. You wanted to make an excellent first impression, but by the intense scowl the other man was throwing at Hanma, you were still determining how well you’d be able to do it. 

"Don't you have any wits, you idiot?" Kisaki snapped at Hanma as soon as you arrived at the table, and you did your best to not let any weakness show. You knew how these men worked. 

Hanma only smiled at Kisaki as he ushered you into the booth. The maroon upholstery squeaked under your movement and then Hanma's as he squeezed in beside you. It felt like you were trapped, in a sense, with nowhere to look except at the intimidating man in front of you.

"Don't be so sour, Tetta. I'd like you to meet my girl." Hanma's voice was jovial as he motioned to you with one of his tattooed hands.

Steel gray eyes flashed over to your form, reading every part of you with his piercing gaze. Kisaki didn’t smile or offer a warm welcome which only made you want to melt away. "This idiot won't shut up about you," he motioned toward a smiling Hanma with his head. "I don't know what you've done to him, but he wouldn't give up until I agreed to meet you," his voice was bland, uninterested. 

Your mind fumbled with how to respond to that. And without thinking, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind. "That's odd. Shuji hardly ever mentions you." 

Hanma bursted out with a loud laugh that only made the other man send him a sharp glare. "I can see you picked a volatile one," Kisaki's voice was flat as he gazed at the laminated menu.       

Hanma had to admit the little exchange only endeared him to you more. Your quick wit and unwillingness to back down made his head spin. It only confirmed that he was right to stage this little introduction because the only way you would leave this relationship is if he made that choice.

Thankfully after some smooth talking from Hanma, the tense atmosphere was lifted for the rest of the dinner. Kisaki only talked when it's about himself, and even then, he gave you very few details. But he listened intently when you spoke, watched you and took in everything, making you a bit uneasy.

It was as if he was gathering as much information as possible, planning a grand scheme in his mind with each crumb you dropped. And while Hanma played aloof, sometimes he was far from it. In this, you saw the similarities that drew these two together. The ability to analyze, intimidate, and then take prey down. 

They reminded you of the guys. Mikey, Baji, and– No. You had to get him out of your head; this wasn't the time to think about Draken. 

Dinner ended less than an hour later as Hanma guided you out of the restaurant just as he guided you in. His warm hand on the small of your back comforted you and put you at ease around the volatile Tetta Kisaki.

The three of you stood awkwardly, each waiting for one of you to extend a farewell while Hanma dug in his pockets for his cigarettes. 

You finally mustered up the courage to say goodbye as the tiny click of Hanma's lighter finally reached your ears. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Kisaki. Hopefully, we'll see each other again soon?" You couldn’t help how your voice goes up as it came out as a question, not entirely sure if you actually want to see him soon. 

"Hopefully not. I did this to make Shuji shut up and don't plan on any other outings soon," His voice was sharp as a cruel smirk met his lips. You knew he was trying to hurt you. Hanma told you he probably would. 

It's all a part of Tetta's charm, don't let him get under your skin. The words rang clearly in your head as you plastered a sweet smile.

This only caused the man in front of you to furrow his brows in confusion. Looping your arm through Hanma's free arm, you leaned into him and stared at Kisaki with large doe eyes, spinning as much sugar as possible in your voice.   

"Whatever you say, glasses, see you soon!"

You didn’t give him a moment to react or retort, spinning on your heel and taking your laughing boyfriend with you. 

After being far enough away, Hanma's giggles finally dissipated, and as he stared at you under the night sky, he couldn’t help but utter, "Fuck, I think I'm in love with you, kitten."    

taglist: @mor-pheus @lady-lunaaa @gixxie @kenryug (if you would like to be added please send me an ask!)

[aettuddae]

SERING KISS!!! guys admit it, SERING 🗣🔛🔝‼️

alexa play how sweet by nwjns please

im literally screaming (in my head bc it's almost 2am) and kicking my feet in bed rn. ive been waiting for this moment for yearsss. my ship 🥺❤

idk much abt dogs but serim gives me silly black cat vibes, ik ppl see black cats as serious and quiet but some just act like burnt orange cats. and they're just so silly n cute. ningning is def calico, a little silly and orange but also serious when she has to be. I love her sm. also the crying cat pic w its paw in its mouth :3 hehe

as much as I love jimin, toxic yuri, and angst i need jimin to stay away from serim bc she hurts her so much, T^T just let her be happy bro or stop sending mixed ass signals and fix ur shit first.

sorry for the inactivity, ive been mourning the fact that it could have been me watching her live in hk for the concert for the last couple of weeks. my mom and bro went to china and hk to visit family recently I only said no to going bc I can't stand my brother. I should have gone T^T ningning looked so good, I could have def ignored my bro for what, a month? (that's a lie, we can barely sit together for dinner without arguing) I COULD HAVE SEEN NING SAY SMTH IN CANTO!!! smth abt pretty girls that speak the same language has me so weak(mando and canto r similar enough,,,)

haiii, hru btw? hope ur day has been as nice as mine ever since reading the new update :3 hope u have a great day/night and that both sides of ur pillows r nice n cool!!!<3 also sorry for always writing so much. I can't stop yapping

- ur friendly neighbourhood 🦈

i wrote it for those like you who deserved to live sering to the fullest ✊🏼

she could be a silly black cat, i guess. at the end, how jimin perceives her is up to her, the rest we can have our own opinions 😅 THE CRYING CAT PIC, i love you ningning imitating the crying cat every 5 seconds, it gives me a lot of joy

but she's staying away.. kind of.. lowkey.. i mean, she gifted her a hedgehog, but other than that 🫴🏼

i hate to say this to you, but the hong kong concert has probably been the best one so far 😔 but it's understandable, if you went with your brother you would have probably not been able to enjoy it fully, it would have had a bittersweet feeling knowing someone else ruined a great experience for you. it wasn't the moment, anon, you will get to see them in the future, i'm sure !! at an opportunity where your enjoyment and happiness won't be compromised 😌

i'm fine, overall, having a decent streak 👍🏻 happy to know you're doing okay, anon, i'll have a good day, and hopefully you too. take care of yourself, and don't worry about the yapping ! 🫂

[medichamcham]

I'm curious, do you write fanfics? If so, where do you post?

AH!!! i've been meaning to for the past few years but i just can't seem to find the confidence for it... i have a lot of difficulty articulating my thoughts ;-; but i do have a whole bunch of unfinished stuff in google docs though!! and i am going to keep trying until i have something worth posting!!!!!!!! >:O

i don't know when it will happen, but i WILL post fics someday... i promise !!!!!!! should that happen, it'll be on ao3 for sure!! <3

actually you know what. you made me recall a thing i pulled out of my ass a month ago HAHAHA i totally forgot about it.

its rough and unfinished but the general concept is giovanni and rose running outside through a rainstorm at night while holding hands ;u; hopefully it's worth your time to read! :')

"Oh, it's going to be all night..."

Rose purses his lips, looking down on his phone with knit brows. Tiny drops of rain roll down the screen, dampening the President's thumb.

The pair stand underneath a large tree, temporarily shielding themselves from Mother Nature.

"Hm."

Giovanni glances over, taking note of the upcoming storm predicted on today's weather forecast. He hums a short note, a noise more of acknowledgement rather than vexation.

The Boss sees the rain worsening fast, gentle drops turning harsh and darkening the air outside. He savours the petrichor, a scent of loamy ground, his chest puffing through a deep breath.

Giovanni doesn't mind the rain as much as Rose does. His trench coat is made to stand through unforgiving weather; April showers included.

But it also seems that the rain silences everything around him, drowning it out in the literal sense. A quiet environment means a quiet head, and a quiet head means a clear mind.

"The worst will pass in about twenty minutes," Rose suggests, skimming through the updated graph. "I really don't like waiting, but—"

"Then we won't."

Giovanni sets the fedora over his head, teeth bared in his classic smirk.

"The rain will fall on us either way," he shrugs. "How far is the station again?"

"Uh," Rose mumbles. "Ten minutes from here on foot."

"I see," Giovanni nods, eyeing the streets barely lit by a few lamps. "If we make a run for it, perhaps we could make it in five."

Rose snorts, locking his phone and tucking it away.

"An ambitious notion..."

"Nonsense," Giovanni huffs, waving a dismissive hand. He teases Rose, a man as delicate as the name. "Come on, Mr. President. It's about time to get your blood pumping."

Before Rose could open his mouth to complain about his outfit getting soaked and risking a cold, his body is yanked forward and he stumbles into a hasty sprint over the deserted pavement, following right behind Giovanni, whom has his pale hand firmly locked over his wrist.

"Hey!" Rose laughs over the timely splashes of their shoes plunging into puddles. "I can't run that fast!"

Giovanni simply ignores Rose and drags him through the night, their silhouettes bolting underneath the streetlamps like phantoms in the corner of one's eye.

They feel the rain already seeping through their coats and sticking to their shoulders underneath all the layers. There's a flash illuminating the sky and the rumble of thunder, as if Zapdos has come to unleash its wrath from above.

So they continue to run and run, reining the cold from settling into their skin...

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

my year in review (data/stats/numbers)

this year, mental illness kicked my ass until it didn't (when fabba came back), and then about a week ago, it started kicking my ass again. i wish i had spent more of the year escaping into art. 2023 was the first year in a while, i feel, that has had this low numbers.

part of that is because my special interest in the 2000s emo scene was reawakened by fob's return, so much of my year was spent re-obsessing over them. rediscovering a bunch of music that made me happy ages 12-15, a time period full of suicidal ideation. my suicidal thoughts and impulses were slain, once again, by the fabbaboos like champions in an arena. 'are you not entertained?' and all that.

(the only 're-'s i am counting are film re-watches, so no album re-listens are counted in that. so a bunch of the stuff i did this year is not being counted! i actually listened to a lot more music than i have catalogued here, i just don't personally log re-listens in my physical media log, so they aren't counted here.)

another part of this is that i spent so much of the year working on my own projects, working on myself, and trying to manage my mental illnesses. i quit drugs and wanting to kill myself! i'm learning spanish! i'm graduating in a few months! this is not an apology; i just prefer to do a lot more stuff to distract me from all the horribleness in my life </3.

this is a (hopefully) complete-ish log of stuff i did this year bc i like number and data and keeping logs because i have an intense, immense fear of lack of permanence/forgetting/losing things because i have lost and forgotten so much stuff in my life 😁😁😁

this is going to get long, so i'm putting it under a cut.

movies watched: 54

top 10 best movies, loosely ranked best to worst:

the revenge of frankenstein (1958) (re-watch) (5 stars)

moustachette (2009) (re-watch) (5 stars)

a field in england (2013) (5 stars)

barbie (2023) (5 stars)

the curse of frankenstein (1957) (re-watch) (5 stars)

spider-man: across the spider-verse (2023) (5 stars)

how to get ahead in advertising (1989) (5 stars)

field of dreams (1989) (5 stars)

the boy and the heron (2023) (4.5 stars)

withnail & i (1987) (4.5 stars)

die hard (1988) (4.5 stars)

honorable mentions: akira (1988), his girl friday (1940), juno (2007), guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 (2023), a clockwork orange (1971)

top 5 worst films, loosely ranked worst to best:

black jack (1981) (2 stars)

lust for a vampire (1971) (2 stars)

some may live (1967) (3 stars)

renfield (2023) (3 stars)

men at work (1990) (3 stars)

*

i don't really watch that much television, so i'm not logging it here. i did watch a bunch of tv, but not enough to really warrant a wrapped.

*

books read: 7 (+3 issues of do a powerbomb) (+ part of great expectations by charles dickens, but i haven't finished it yet 🥰)

ranked, best to worst:

gray by pete wentz, james montgomery (4.5 stars)

landline by rainbow rowell (4.5 stars)

the last command by timothy zahn (4.5 stars)

the secret diary of laura palmer by jennifer lynch (4 stars)

attachments by rainbow rowell (4 stars)

specter of the past by timothy zahn (3.5 stars)

do a powerbomb by daniel warren johnson (first three issues, 3.5 average stars)

death star by steve perry, michael reaves (2 stars)

*

i still haven't received my spotify wrapped in full because it won't load all the way through, so that is going to have to wait. but i am an album listener through and through, so here are some album stats!

i'm only counting albums that are new to me/i previously hadn't listened to all the way through, so this doesn't count re-listens :/

this also IS counting eps.

albums listened to: 29

top 10 albums, best to worst:

soul punk (2011) by patrick stump (5 stars)

so much (for) stardust (2023) by fall out boy (5 stars)

purple rain (1984) by prince (5 stars)

hot mess (2009) by cobra starship (5 stars)

transgender dysphoria blues (2014) by against me! (5 stars)

can't buy a thrill (1972) by steely dan (5 stars)

like vines (2006) by the hush sound (5 stars)

bleed american (2001) by jimmy eat world (5 stars)

this is why (2023) by paramore (4.5)

flamboyant (2019) by dorian electra (4.5 stars)

honorable mentions: where sleeplessness is rest from nightmares (2001) by arma angelus; the land is inhospitable and so are we (2023) by mitski; old world underground, where are you now? (2003) by metric; phantomime (ep) (2023) by ghost; sempiternal (2013) by bring me the horizon

loosely ordered, non-exhaustive 10 of my favorite new-to-me songs:

fake out by fall out boy

run dry (x heart x fingers) / cryptozoology by patrick stump

love from the other side by fall out boy

thick skull by paramore

so much (for) stardust by fall out boy

allie by patrick stump

bleed american by jimmy eat world

i would die 4 u by prince (there would be more prince on this list, but i had listened to much of purple rain already, so!)

you're not in on the joke by cobra starship

to feel no more bitterness forever by arma angelus

*

personal project wrapped!

poems: 37

the bc wip: 6146 words (daily writing streak not broken since i started it 😁)

the mi wip: 836 words

the epdb wip: 1697 words

other stuff: ???

i've written too many songs/scraps of songs to count those.

*

10 favorite real world things + stuff i'm grateful/proud that happened:

got hardcore back into fall out boy !

saw fall out boy live !

saw ghost live !

sobered up and became straight edge !

overcame suicidal urges (kinda) !

have been learning how to read music and play piano better !

went to the pmu !

read 'gray' by pete wentz !

curbed my righteous anger / learned to cope with anger better !

have been learning spanish !

honorable mentions: learning to be a better friend, have been keeping up a writing streak with the bc wip + haven't missed a single day since i started, started the mi wip, have been putting myself out there more, doing things scared, writing a shit ton of poetry + sharing it, got clandestine merch, keeping to my dietary restrictions, recovering from onychotillomania!

[regular-lord-reckoner]

lol so back in november i called my gyn's office to make an appointment because for one, i'm overdue for an exam anyway but for two, because i wanted to at least ask about possibly getting an ablation or just...something, right?

and they were really booked out, it was either i came in on my birthday or now in februrary so my dumb ass said let's do februrary

okay cool great awesome

i even did the math on my last period just to make sure it wasn't going to interfere with this appointment and based on my calculations it shouldn't have or else i would have called then to try to change it

well...my appointment is tomorrow

do you wanna guess, do you just wanna take a fucking guess, as to what decided to show up today a whole fucking week early?!?!

my period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i called to reschedule and naturally the next appointment won't be until almost june so that's.......good. that's great!! i love that!!

i've just spent the past half hour just sobbing in rage

i know it's a really stupid thing to cry over but i can't help it, i just feel so defeated right now

and mad at myself, because this should have been something i had figured out a long time ago, y'know? i shouldn't be turning 34 this year and be trying to get a handle on this, i should have at least spent my 20s cycling through every birth control pill on earth until i found one that doesn't negate my other medicine or gotten an iud or just...something

and now that it seems like my periods (which already weren't great, but aren't the worst i've ever heard of) are starting to get wonky it's like, "oh well, hope you can wait a few more months!!"

i'm also beyond worried now that it'll come may and it'll be the same fucking thing because at this point i apparently can't just track my days and be confident that i'm in the clear !!

my back was absolutely killing me last week and i can already tell this is going to be one of the bad mental health ones and i just want this shit to stop. just from the excessive bleeding alone i don't know why i've put up with this for as long as i have, but i'm over it

here again, though...it's my own fault. i made the decision at one point that i wasn't going to invest in myself and now here we are. now that i want to it's obviously not just going to happen all at once

i guess i'll just wait a few more months and hopefully by then it'll be okay

doesn't help that in general i've been feeling like, "welp, i've dug myself into a hole i'm never getting out of!" because it's really just hitting me how much of my own time i've wasted and how many more things i could have done for myself or at least better decisions i could have made but nothing i can really do about it now i guess

any of it

just gotta live with it and everything else!!

anyway hope if you're reading this that your day is going well and you get some good news today.

[pholiabanna]

Confession time; i kinda hate the st writers. They are the reason why the pride was ruined during the vol2 waiting, the reason why we face constant homophobia from mlvns and the ga for shipping byler and all bc they refused to break up mlvn and also included that shit ass monologue. Now we have to wait years to see the conclusion meanwhile ppl gradualy start lose their interest. They ruined Nick's career and reputation for no reason when his site was there for years. The way they say nothing against the apparent fandom homophobia even though it is not even a secret since ppl sharw homophobic comments left and right. The way they use Will's car scene as a memeable moment even though many queer fans were devastated when the scene came out. The way they write these characters. The way they treate Will. The way they treated Robin. I have so much spite and hatred bottled in me and i am only starting to realize it after a year. If byler doesnt become canon i hope all st writers and the duffers lose their jobs and never manage to write ever again. I would even support Netlix going full bankrupt. My respect for the writers all depend on whether or not byler becomes canon and i dont care if it makes me stuck with byler or whatever. After everything the writers pulled, yes, my respect all depend on this choice for S5.

Honestly I see where you're coming from, so your feelings are completely valid. I do believe that the monologue and saving byler for the last season makes narrative sense because of the way they've written the story and how best friends to lovers stories usually work (they normally won't get together until the end of a movie, and you have to think of ST as a 5 season long movie).

I think most of those things you pointed out are more of a fandom problem, like Will crying in the van becoming a meme- I believe it was portrayed very seriously in the show and it was a certain sector of the audience who decided to memefy it. Also, the homophobia would happen even if byler became canon in season 4, sadly homophobes are everywhere in every fandom. I also believe a lot of those things you pointed out are more of Netflix's fault, because using Wills scene as a meme was something accounts like Netflix, Netflix geeked, Netflix UK and other did, but I don't recall strangerwriters doing that (but I may be wrong so please if I am let me know). Their executives were probably the ones who decided to split the season as well, and having vol 2 come out right after pride month (being a terrible coincidence because of the byler-Milkvan storyline and the homophobia that subsequently came from maloobans). If I remember correctly, the writers account has stated a couple times that everyone should be allowed to ship whoever they want. But as you pointed out, sometimes I feel like they could do a little bit more. They tanked Nick's reputation (which I can understand up to a certain point if they are trying to protect the show they are working on from getting spoiled, but maybe they should have made a less vague and incriminating statement), and they definitely could address the rampant homophobia in the fandom more frequently.

It sucks that we need to wait so many years to prove we were right, but think about how satisfying it will be once the season comes out and you watch all of those people have a breakdown, and hopefully you see interviews from the duffers explaining how that was the intention all along. If that's the case, then I'll be happy, but as you said, if all of these was for nothing and byler isn't endgame, I'll definitely consider it queerbaiting, because they have built up romantic feelings for Will on Mike's side, even if some people want to deny it. So yeah, queerbaiting in 2023 sucks, and it's totally valid for you to feel like you won't respect them anymore if they go that route. I think more people need to realize this is not a matter of whether the couple I like ends up together over the couple other people like, it's a matter of whether queer people get a respectful and deserved treatment or not. And if they don't, then they're terrible writers, because if the way they fucked up that storyline, and terrible people too.

But hopefully not. Right now, I'm really convinced byler is endgame and they know what they're doing. We have to deal with crazy Melvin stans meanwhile, but the wait will be over before you notice and they'll get really quiet and embarrassed once they realize how wrong they were. But I'd like for them to address some of the homophobic comments online a little bit more often.

[bells-of-black-sunday]

𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 !

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : Spük / Spuk / Spooky, whichever is easier

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 : He/Him | They/Them

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : Tumblr ims to start unless we're already talking then it's discord. It's just easier to reach me there, but unfortunately I keep it pretty private due to really bad experiences in the past. Though if our muses are already connected through egg, you are more than welcome to ask for it too!

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄(𝐒): Everyone in my doc who I will not be typing out, because that's way too tedious, but primarily Tarhos Kovács / The Knight, Danny Johnson / The Ghostface, Karthus / The Deathsinger, and a few ocs. In the past I've written a human, normal, and bloodmoon Thresh / The Chain Warden before Rito ruined my love for him, Galaxy Xayah, Pyke / The Bloodharbor Ripper, Vladimir / The Crimson Reaper, Sylas / The Unshackled and an old kid league oc when I first started writing on tumblr.

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 / 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 ( 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐒 / 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ) : I've been roleplaying in general starting on R.oblox when I was 9 or 10, then moved to D.eviantart, then to S.kype and then finally to T.umblr when I was like 13 I think? 12 or 13. So over a decade pretty much, almost a decade on T.umblr itself which is wild.

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 : By far meeting Egg, we've been dating for 7 months now and they're a very big part of my life that I am very excited about. I'm very passionate about everything they do and every time we hang out it's a highlight of my night. I'm so excited to be moving closer to them next year, so that we'll hopefully be able to hang out more regularly in person than just one trip I'm planning in April. I will never not hype up Egg and their work, they're so talented and genuinely just such an incredible person.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒 / 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Something that's always bothered me since the time of themes being popular, but I feel like is still a really huge issue with docs and carrds becoming the main way we tell our muse information is accessibility. I'm sorry, but if I can't read anything about your blog I'm not following you, if your formatting gives me a headache and I don't even have vision issues you really need to rethink how you're writing, if I can't tell what your icons are even supposed to be because they're 5x5 px and crusted out the ass that they look like a single pixel that's not an aesthetic babe that's a bad early 2000s webpage. Of course there's also certain fandoms I won't touch with 10ft pole, but generally the biggest thing I've soft blocked people over is accessibility, because I don't care if you write fandoms I don't care for, but I sure as hell don't want to interact with people who think their aesthetic is way more important than just being accessible when most writers I've written with have some sort of visual processing disability and they're all fucking incredible.

Oh and if you have anything relating to not interacting with female muses or ocs in your bio i'm hard blocking you, but I think that's self explanatory.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅, 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓, 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 : I do really like fluff, but I really enjoy angst with all types of interactions just due to the nature of muses I have on this blog. Smut I have to be in the mood to write which is why there can be no smut for months on my blog and then I drop a 600 word reply randomly at 6 am.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 : While I do enjoy plots and will happily plot with anyone, I just think memes are easier. They're something I can easily type up a response for instead of someone having to wait for me to be in the right mood to write and not be busy (especially with the holidays coming up) and just be waiting for a starter. I promise I don't mean to be slow with things, adhd just has massive fucking hands that it grabs me with sometimes!

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 : Genuinely the shortest replies I will do for anything that's not a one-off joke interaction are 1-2 paras, I hate writing single sentence rp it doesn't give me enough to work off of. By that extension I prefer long replies depending on what it is of course, someone cooking in the kitchen with someone else doesn't need 6000 words obviously, but I do like me some writing inner monologues.

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 : I get the most motivation at times when I should be asleep which is as funny as it is me getting to bed super late at ungodly hours, but because of that I don't expect replies immediately. I even tend to just queue things when I do write, because with how awful t.umblrs notifs have been recently, it gives it a better chance that my partner will see it!

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄(𝐒) : I'm out here hitting all my muses with my trans-beams to fill my government assigned quota for the lgbt agenda to be honest. But in all seriousness, I think everyone tends to put a tiny bit of themselves into every muse they write and that's what makes rp so much fun!

Tagged by: No one, I stole it from someone who I can't remember because this has been sitting in my drafts for so long-

Tagging: No one, because idk who hasn't been tagged

[mcfanely]

I've had this post sitting in my drafts from around the middle of December, since it had gotten to the point where I'd basically done no substantial art for a good few weeks; and now staring at this post again at the end of December with an unfinished commission on my iPad that I'd hoped I'd have done by the end of November - I thought it would be a good idea to logically think about how to deal with things in the near future, and subsequently make a decision which is painful but also the right one for me right now.

Things aren't really going well currently, alongside a few medical issues in the family, and work and not sleeping well being the sorta base problems I've been dealing with for a few months, I've not exactly been feeling much of anything recently and it's just getting worse. Anxiety and depression is a general thing that I've lived with for years, but right now it's just kicking my ass in a way I haven't experienced before and I'm floundering so much, I'm just floating through days and barely remembering them, and I'm aware I'm disassociating a lot of the time and I feel like I'm drowning-

So I need to step back from art, to take at least one thing off my plate so I'm not extremely stressed over something I thoroughly enjoy.

FYI There are event prizes that I will 100% honour, those aren't going to be put aside. And the two commissions I have going right now will be continued till completion.

Yet as for general commissions and my own art overall, there's no motivation there. I hope to hell there will be a love for it soon (and dammit I'm sure there will be) but right now I'm not exactly enjoying much at all, art is just a thing that I usually love so much - it's what I use to relax, I used to do it for hours in a day and love every second and now, I think I've done maybe two hours of it over the past month overall?

Know that I am so, so damn sorry, god I just hoped that I'd be better by this time but I've never felt worse - I'm so sorry that I'm having to step back from commissions that people would have been excited for, I'm sorry that you've trusted me with your lovely ideas and I'm just not able to provide them anymore

If you do have a commission slot with me, and are willing to wait until I eventually decide to open my commissions again, then do message me and I'll put you on a list for the first slots I have available when I reopen them

This will definitely not be forever, I promise it won't because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have art in my life. But consistently telling people that I'm unable to honour their commission slot as a new month rolls around is in no way fair, not when there are many artists that have their commissions open and can provide a service that I'm currently unable to give

I'm going to spend an hour or so getting in touch with those who have commissions with me and giving some big apologies, but this is just an umbrella post to keep people looped in as to why I'm probably not going to be active much with posting art or the like, I'll be back, I will, but I need time away from things and I'm very sorry

This was very long winded, whether you read it or not, thank you so much for just enjoying what I do! It always means the world to see the support I have for my art and I'm sorry I have to let you down like this

I'll still be here, active over socials, just a lot quieter, and hopefully getting better

I hope you all understand 💙 love you all, and again, I'm extremely sorry for this situation 💙💙

[isaacapatow]

with @davxdalexander & @mayrarcjas  | the daybreakers : david talks about ermano, and ike and mayra close something and consider an opening

ike apatow We got word that Ares was injured. They're gonna be bringing him back to Redwood as soon as he's stable enough to travel. -they're ranging among the junk in the yard, finding salvage that can be repurposed to repair and fortify things in town- The radio system we set up isn't reliable but at least they got that much through. We should start training damn carrier pigeons, man.

David Alexander Ares? Shit. -it seemed just about everyone was getting hurt- How bad is he?

ike apatow They couldn't give too much detail but from what I gather he's down for the count and they're worried his wounds might fester if he stays. Makes sense. Everyone who's there is there to be a target, after all, but targets with a chance of getting out of it alive. -Ike scowls down at the ground for a moment after saying that, his forehead in a pained crease-

David Alexander Well, that's good they can bring him back. Hopefully it ain't anything too bad. -David knows that Ike has a special spot for all of his raiders and he notices the look in his face- Zack won't let anything happen to them. As much of a pain in the ass he is, he's not that kind of guy. But I'm sure you know that.

ike apatow Yeah, no -- it's not that. He's gonna do what he can. It's ... -Ike stops looking around entirely, looking at David instead- They could all be dead a month from now. Or worse, captured. You were a prisoner with the Daybreakers, I mean not for long but long enough to see what it was like.

David Alexander -David waits for Ike to give him his attention and let him spill rather than pry. He crosses his arms and sighs as he nods along- It wasn't long, but yeah. I was glad we were gone as quick as we were. I don't want to think about what would happen if the others are taken.

ike apatow But we have to. That's our job, to think about that.

David Alexander -David nodded- Yeah. I know. But we're not gonna let that happen to them. -it wasn't a question - it was a matter of fact-

ike apatow -Ike stares at him flatly for a moment, then turns back to searching- I don't know how you do it.

David Alexander -his brow raises slightly as he follows Ike- Do what?

ike apatow Never bother thinking anything deeper than what you've been told to think.

David Alexander -David breaths out amusement under his breath- It's not that. It's a success mentality. Used it on missions and it never failed.

ike apatow -Ike snorts, although his interest is piqued by this- Positive thinking, seriously? That's what Uncle Sam taught you when you were in his gang?

David Alexander No, Uncle Sam taught me patience with stupiditiy. Ermano taught me positive thinking.

ike apatow Now I know you're fuckin' with me. Ermano has positive thoughts about trousers that can be let out in the ass and that's about it.

David Alexander -David smirked and shrugged- Am I? Or maybe that's just how close 'Mano and I are.

ike apatow All right, well -- whatever. You and Ermano can have had all the positive thinking personal hand-holding retreats you want, it doesn't mean it's gonna help anything.

David Alexander Might not, but it doesn't hurt either.

ike apatow You sure you didn't learn this from Mayra? That sounds more likely.

David Alexander -David shook his head- No, I learned this from being a leader to a bunch of guys who were terrified about going into war zones.

ike apatow See now -- if you were my CO and I was shit terrified to go get potentially blowed up and you told me to just think nice thoughts and assume success, I'd gank you in the night and go AWOL. -Ike smirks, leaning back at the hips as he jabs a finger at David- And that's why I'm not suited for the military.

David Alexander You'd be surprised how many guys did that. -he laughed under his breath- Yeah, I could see that. Ain't nothing wrong with it.

ike apatow So. Speaking of Mayra, what's up with you and Mayra?

David Alexander Uhhhh. -he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly- I'm just helpin' her out. She asked for some self defense lessons and she came to check up on me with the whole 'Mano incident.

ike apatow Noooooooooo, tell the truth. She made you smile. -Ike jams his fingertips on either side of his mouth, giving a dimply twinkly exaggerated smile and twisting his fingers- I had to hear the girls squealing about it, so now I get to bother you about it.

David Alexander I do know how to smile, y'know. She ain't the only one. -he shakes his head but is amsued nonetheless- We shared a single kiss. Just one.

ike apatow What's stopping you from more?

David Alexander I want to talk with her about things. Gauge her comfort level and everything.

ike apatow Things? What things? Am I a thing? Tell me if I'm a thing because I'm pretty fuckin sure I'm a thing.

David Alexander I don't know if you're a thing. That is more a Mayra answer than me. You might want to talk to her.

ike apatow Don't tell me to talk to her, I've talked to her more than you have and that's a fuckin fact. -he boots over a piece of a wheel well, crouching down to look at it but still talking- She's in love with me. She claims she's in love with me. Did she mention that?

David Alexander -David crossed his arms and stared at him with a brow raised- Not really, no.

ike apatow -Ike hoots, breaking apart some gears from a shaft and inspecting them- Well, now you know. She was probably never even gonna tell you.

David Alexander -David shrugs- Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. For all I know it was just a kiss and nothing more. Hence why I wanted to talk to her first.

ike apatow What's Ermano say about it?

David Alexander Being happy for me and go for it because we're all on borrowed time.

ike apatow Huh, interesting. He normally has a lot to say about Mayra being slutty, even though she's barely slept with anybody.

Mayra Rojas -she had left sol’s home, dropping off a few items when she had overheard her name being said, by an all too familiar voice. looking through the junkyard fence, mayra saw david and ike talking. crouching, she continued to listen to the conversation, unseen-

David Alexander Honestly, I think Ermano's near brush with death has changed his mind on a few things. I also know he's been trying to get me a girl since as long as I have known him.

ike apatow Even one he thinks is a stone whore?

David Alexander A stone whore? -he raises his brow questioningly- I'm not exactly the most virtuous guy either, y'know.

ike apatow Oh, yeah -- Ermano won't care how many places you dipped your wick, this is entirely one-way judgy traffic,

David Alexander Like I said - Ermano said he was happy for me, even if there's nothing there. And he told me to go for it, but I don't know if there even is anything there.

ike apatow -standing back up, Ike looks at David for a while, then walks ahead a bit- All right. Well, I can handle the rest myself, if you want.

David Alexander -David shook his head as he follows along- Appreciate it but idle hands and all that. Besides, -he reaches down and picks up something Ike walked past- You missed some.

ike apatow Sure. Knock yourself out.

Mayra Rojas -mayra finally stepped out into view, looking over to the men- What’s the matter, Ike? Annoyed David didn’t give in to your instigation? Let me guess, you were the one who brought me up? Real nice. -she crossed her arms, sending a glare toward ike-

ike apatow What instigation? If he knew what one was, that would've been called a conversation.

David Alexander -David looked up as Mayra approached and he felt like he was missing something here- Were you eavesdropping?

Mayra Rojas I was leaving Sol’s and heard my name. A little hard not to when that happens. -her attention was only on david- Don’t listen to him when it has anything to do with me. It’s all false. Well, one thing is right. -she looks to ike with a pointed stare- I don’t love him.

ike apatow -cups his hand to his ear- Say that again? I wanna hear it in front of a witness.

Mayra Rojas Bite me. -she rolls her eyes-

ike apatow -he drops his hand, giving her a dark, serious stare- No. Say it again. I think I deserve that much and David does too.

Mayra Rojas You’re such an insufferable cockroach. -her arms fell to her side- You were right, I don’t love you. -there was so much more she wanted to say, but mayra chose to put a cork in it to not confuse david more than he already looked-

ike apatow Great. Now I'm gonna continue on, and you two can do whatever. -he starts to head off to the other side of the junkyard-

Mayra Rojas -she watches ike as he moves to the over side of the junkyard, frustration growing- Give me a sec and then I’ll answer any questions you might have -she says to david before following ike- Hey, what the hell was that? Why bother bringing me up to someone else when we haven’t even seen each other since before snow fall?

ike apatow -keeps walking, not turning around- That's what us lying cockroaches do.

Mayra Rojas Bullshit. -she catches up to him, and rounds to stop in front of him- Stop! That’s not fair. I’m moving on and trying to find what I need with someone else and this is what you do? I didn’t run to Jemma when I found out about you two. Why try to hinder my happiness?

ike apatow What would you even run to Jemma for?

Mayra Rojas My point.

ike apatow That isn't a point.

Mayra Rojas Yes, it is. You just refuse to see it. Hell, anything I say you refuse to even acknowledge it.

ike apatow That's rich coming from the girl who's refused to listen to a single thing I've said, even if it's about me.

Mayra Rojas -she lets out a sigh, but stays firm- You’re right. I didn’t want to hear you, and I’ll own up to that.

ike apatow -he looks at her directly instead of around at other things, mouth twisted to the side- All I said to him is that Ermano thinks you're a slut, and that you think you're in love with me. The first one's true, that's what Ermano thinks, and the second one has apparently changed, so... -Ike shrugs- So that's that. I'm not a fucking liar and I never have been, but thanks for assuming I would. 

Mayra Rojas -mayra rolled her eyes, two fingers reaching her temples to give them a few rolls- Jesus fucking Crickets, we’re never going to be able to have a decent conversation again, are we? Fuck, I didn’t know you moved to Gin’s place ‘til Lucien told me. Once upon a time, that’s something we would’ve talked about before it happened, and now? I feel like I’m looking at the shell of someone I used to know and I don’t like it.

ike apatow -he shrugs, shoulders slumping a little- I don't like it either. But I don't think there's any way back for us. You can't even talk to me without rolling your eyes and calling me names.

Mayra Rojas Maybe say something not ‘roll my eyes worthy’ -her words were a joke but she could see how they could’ve been taken serious- That was a joke, by the way. -moving a piece of hair behind her ear, mayra looked up at ike- I’m sorry. I’ll try to stifle my defense mechanism around you.

ike apatow -he can't help sounding a little mournful, looking down at her- I don't know why you even feel like you have to be defensive around me. I'm not trying to attack you, Mayra.

Mayra Rojas -she shrugs- Sometimes it feels like it.

ike apatow You know if I ask you to give me examples you wouldn't be able to come up with any. You know that, right.

Mayra Rojas Don't you think I already know it's all in my head?

ike apatow Uh, not really, since you act on it as if it's fact.

Mayra Rojas That's what mental illness is, Ike. I'm sure you can understand that better than most. -she wasn't insinuating ike had one, but to work with addicts ... to be an addict was classified as a mental illness in the old world- I've been seeing Theo. And while he's not a psychiatrist, he certainly presents some affirming information on personality disorders. The highs ... the lows ....

ike apatow Okay, okay. I don't require you to tell me what your diagnosis is, that's your business -- all I want is for you to stop treating me like a cartoon villain out to get you. I do know what mental illness is like, yeah, and rule one is that it's not an excuse for treating other people like shit.

Mayra Rojas I'm not making an excuse.

ike apatow Oh-kay. Congratulations on seeking help, then.

Mayra Rojas -mayra lets out a slow breath, her eyes slightly narrowing at him- How about this? And it might sound corny, but, whenever you're free, stop by for tea and we'll catch up. Maybe do just ten minutes and see how it goes for another tea date, as friends. Just a suggestion, think it over. -she puts a gentle hand on his arm- I do miss you, by the way. You were like one of my best friends ... that I fucked. -she snorts-

ike apatow How about you invite me for tea. I think that would work better than me calling the shots on anything between us. -he raises his eyebrows hopefully, resting his hand over hers on his arm-

Mayra Rojas -a small smile forms- Ike, will you please meet me for tea at my place, tonight? As long as you're not too busy.

ike apatow Yes I will. -he answers without hesitation, then sighs, cupping his other hand to the back of her head and pressing a short kiss to her hair before letting go- I'll see you later, kid. Now go tend to that basset hound of yours.

Mayra Rojas -she briefly folds into him and smiles at his comment. with a shake from her head, mayra walks back toward david, her hands shoved deep in her coat pockets- Hey, sorry about that. You need help?

David Alexander -when Mayra had ran off to do whatever it was with Ike, David had busied himself to avoid watching or listening. It was obviously a private conversation and one he felt like he didn't need to get into the middle of. He only looked up from the broken clock that he was taking apart when he heard Mayra- Just grabbing a couple more parts to pass on for projects. Everything good between you two?

Mayra Rojas -she gave a single-sided shrug- Time will tell, honestly. But - um. I want you to know that there's nothing romantic going on there. In case you were wondering.

David Alexander -David looked over to where Ike had disappeared before back at Mayra- I wasn't, but that's good to know. -he offers her a gentle smile as he finally pulls apart the clock and pulls out the gears- So....just how long were you spying on us?

Mayra Rojas Not long, truthfully. Probably the last minute or so before I stepped out. -she playfully narrowed her eyes at him- Why? Did you finally confess your undying love for Ermano?

David Alexander -David chuckles and shakes his head - Oh, no. Nothing that dramatic. But I did tell him that 'Mano has a crush on him.

Mayra Rojas I knew it -mayra playfully put a finger in the air- That's why he acts like he has a stick up his ass whenever Ike is around, huh?

David Alexander Oh yeah. He just doesn't want Ike to know it. He likes to play hard to get.

Mayra Rojas -she snorted at his joke- Figures.

[houseofhyde]

Hi! just saw your last post and wanted to send you some encouraging words! It's sad to see such a talented writer as yourself being plagued by so much self doubt. I'm still checking your blog twice a day to see if the next part is out and i would definitely wait another few weeks if it means that you'd be happy enough with what you've written to post it. And even if it took another 3 weeks or 3 months- i wouldn't be any less excited! Another man's is easily one of my favourite stories on here and i would DIE for stark!reader and your Aemond. Sending you a big hug (if you're into that ofc, if you don't like being touched, then i'm sending you a big warm and comforting bowl of your favourite soup!)

thank you anon, for this entire ask! i hate posting my self-doubt on here, since i know most people following me are just here to read my fics and that's completely fine, but humour is how i cope and i couldn't help making a little joke out of how crippling my inability to chapter three is becoming.

i know people understand and won't be disappointed by having to wait (or at least i hope), but i guess i'm just scared people may think i don't care or intend to continue writing the another man's series (i 100% do, i have the whole fic plotted out in a google doc). the most frustrating part is that i'm closer to finishing part four of another man than i am to finishing part three, and i can't even post what i'm nearly finished with because it relies on several plot points in part three.

enough with my ranting (i just wanted to say that to let people know i am still invested in writing about lady stark and aemond), let me give you the biggest hug and a nice bowl of comforting soup too because you're honestly so sweet and patient to put up with my silly ass. i promise you won't need to wait 3 months- or even, hopefully, one month- till i post part three. thank you for loving another man's series, it's truly asks like this that keep me (and so many other writers on this site) motivated to keep posting. muah! <33